Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "Aw, Mom, ya know I'm not like other guys. I'm nervous and my socks are too loose"

• Aw, Mom, ya know I'm not like other guys; I'm nervous and my socks are too loose
• Goddamnit, man, it's like this shit knows what I'm fucking thinking
• Hi, mom; I'm gay
• i'm not a creep. i'm not a weirdo. i know exactly what i'm doing here. i belong here.
• I'm Harriet Harman, you know where you can get me
• fuck it, I love you even if I'm gonna feel like shit
• I'm insensitive, and I don't know anything
• I'm far too hammered to realize this is a bad idea
• Just because I like ballet it doesn't mean I'm a poof
• You don't even know the meaning of the word committed. I'm Andy Kaufman, motherfucker. I will die on this hill I made, in this battle I started, for this prize I already own.
• If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you
• I feel like I'm missing pieces of sleep
• You Know What I'm Sayin'
• Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now
• I'm trying to see little old ladies as versions of my mom; it helps me be a better person
• My mom thinks I'm a satanist
• On the one hand my life is in danger, but on the other hand, I'm getting really stoned
• finding my way back to sanity again, though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there
• So I'm wrestling with the demoness while the priest is trying not to soil his vestments, and Faust is just sitting there like an idiot
• It is safe to say that I'm going to get my payback if he is anything like me.
• Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry
• I may not know anything but I know I'm not American
• Tell me what God is like, cause I'm starting to forget
• I'm feeling like a custard now
• Good? Bad? I'm the guy with the gun.
• I'm sparkin like a match that's never going out
• I'm so goddamned cruel to you. But you'll never know
• The city knows I'm leaving
• I'm embarrassed that I know this
• I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me!
• Yeah, I know I'm dead;
• Someone has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• People are impossible. I should know; I'm one of them.
• this writeup made me hungry like DAMN so I'm chinging it!
• I'm not like you. I'm loved.
• I know what I'm talking about
• the struggle continues, but at least i know i'm not alone
• I'm burning too brightly, begging you to smother me.
• i might look like a grown person, but i'm just a tiny confused scientist
• I'm awake now. You know what I'm talkin' about?
• I know the last digit of pi and I'm not telling
• If you EVER come across an empty floor, just know that I'm gonna fuck you up.
• The letter I'm too chicken to mail
• I'm a decent guy's worst nightmare
• I know more when I'm alone
• I don't like your reality, I'm going to make my own
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• I'm afraid, I thought, I'm too afraid to jump, I'm a coward, and at that moment I jumped
• Crazy People Always Think I'm the Sweetest Guy
• America stop pushing I know what I'm doing.
• Please say it's not too late now that I'm dead and gone
• People tink I'm stupid 'cause I tawk like dis
• Dude, check me out. I'm like a little otter, a sexy little otter!
• I'm going to love you like the undead woe their graves, crave the living.
• I put too much weight on your shoulders, I'm sorry
• I'm too judgmental with people who are too judgmental
• I feel like I'm being watched
• Someone takes care of me and I squirm like I'm caught in a lie
• I'm the Bad Guy
• I'm not sure I know how to neuter your cat
• I feel like I'm getting weaker, while Charlie's growing stronger in the jungle
• I'm lazy. It's all I know.
• I'm reading this like you're chewing with your mouth full
• Gosh! That single kiss made me feel like I'm charged up with the power of a million exploding suns!
• When I'm wearing a bonnet and sipping pretend tea with Miss Ponykins and Zippy the Ugly Zebra, that's when I feel the most like a man
• I know I'm not very good at this. I don't want to be better.
• I like the way I'm doing it better than the way you're not
• That man has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• I'm too old for this shit
• I'm Too Sexy
• I'm gonna miss this light when it's gone. I'm gonna miss this darkness too.
• They think I'm crazy, but I know it's real
• I'm happy but you don't like me
• Dude, check me out. I'm like a little auditor, a sexy little auditor!
• I'm creating a religion... you'll like it!
• I'm going to assume you know why that's stupid and move on
• The receptionist at work knows I'm a slacker
• i feel like i'm single-handedly destroying the rain forest
• I think I'm turning into a guy
• I'm not pregnant, but thanks for asking
• Take me drunk, I'm home
• I'm Going Slightly Mad
• I'm a Chicken-Hawk, and I'm gonna eat me some chickens
• Can you tell I'm a man?
• I'm no better off with a car than I am without one
• A sexist joke I'm allowed to tell, due to being a woman
• Holy shit, you mean I'm not invisible?
• Don't miss me until I'm dead
• the words I'm after
• I'm a zookeeper, not an artist
• I'm alone in Geneva!
• Don't get me wrong - I'm a feminist
• It's not my fault that I'm so evil
• Look at me mammy I'm dancin I'm dancin
• How to say "I'm crazy"
• I'm a liberal and I'm evil!
• You're laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka down
• I'm my own Grandpaw
• I'm with you, Peter Pan
• this is how i'm going to die.
• You may think I'm lying, but it's true
• I'm in love with a big black man named "Flower"
• "I'm fighting to reclaim my laundry."
• I'm a good teenage kid, not a rebel out to kill
• I'm Waiting for the Man
• Guess what? I'm NOT talking to myself.
• I asked a friend to draw me, and I'm scared of what I'll see
• I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)
• So I'm listening to the last hole of the PGA Championship
• I'm scared
• I'm glad the evil overlord was on my team
• my old boss is dying, and I'm not sure what to feel
• I'm so shallow, a new t-shirt makes me happy
• If my roommate doesn't keep his hands off my shit, I'm gonna fuck him up
• I'm acquiring more bottles, tubes, and jars as time goes on
• I'm not really a secretary; I just play one at work.
• I'm so toasty, you could spread jam on me
• I'm passionate about my plant life
• I'm fucking addicted, OK?
• I'm seeing more rear end car wrecks in the year 2000
• Is this the blues I'm singing?
• I'm Proud of You
• I'm giving it all she's got, Captain!
• Tell me what I'm supposed to be feeling
• I'm gonna make you come tonight
• I'm a writer. What are you?
• I'm a crazy old lady whose ex-husband bought himself a Soloflex for my birthday
• Why I think I'm a disgusting human being
• Women want me when I'm taken
• I'm a sucker for a good accent
• i'm afraid of hipsters
• If there's a will, I hope I'm in it
• I'm not a dyke just 'cause I shaved my head, but if it keeps certain people away, fuckin' A right on
• I'm Gonna Ride That Southern Railway Line
• I'm no Whitman...
• I'm a crazy old lady all hopped-up on Estrogen pills
• I'm game
• I'm a Pepper
• Maybe I'm naive but this type of website bugs me
• I'm falling in love with you
• Why I like this Joseph Lieberman guy
• i enjoy myself most when i'm all alone
• I'm tired of calling 911
• I'm sorry that you feel that way
• Three guys whose voices are like clear glass
• When I'm long dead, the bee will win
• If I am doomed to sweat my ass off in my own apartment, I feel better if I'm blasting music
• I'm the world's worst psychic
• I'm straight, but you might be the one
• I'm really sorry about that!!!
• I'm Going Home
• I'm Glad
• Well if it's gonna be THAT kinda party, then I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes!
• Oh, look at me, I'm so drunk
• I'm in this for the long haul
• I'm bored
• I'm a little ICBM
• I'm just a bill
• I'm not this cool in real life
• I'm going to be a Dad
• I'm not that kinda girl
• Wouldn't you think I'm the girl, the girl who has everything?
• My cats think I'm a God
• No, I'm not a Liberal
• I'm rubber, you're glue
• Don't get me wrong; I'm not a feminist
• Fuck me if I'm wrong
• I'm not anorexic, but I'm working on it
• I'm scared to death of what havoc he could wreak in my life
• Thank God I'm an Atheist
• I'm a little tea pot
• 10 Reasons Why I'm Not Single
• I'm with stupid
• I'm nobody! Who are you?
• I enjoy slacking. Does that mean I'm going to Hell?
• I'm not a part of this world
• I'm just so tired of waking up all alone
• I'm a bloke. Shoot me.

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