Monkey Madness

Music is a tool of the propagandist.

The answer to the musical question, "What would happen if Mozart, Frank Zappa, and Buzz Aldrin collaborated on a musical project, equipped with only a Sound Blaster Live! Value, a case of Wild Turkey, and three prefrontal lobotomies?"

This song has a lot of strange sounds in it. It swaps out melodies, instrumentation, tempo and time signatures while maintaining the same mood throughout. The percussion is peppered with undue instances of vibra-slap, and screechy whistles (I can't be sure, but I think it's the referee's whistle from Nintendo Ice Hockey for the NES. The production is noisy, cluttered, and decidedly amateurish. The song somehow survives.

The lyrics themselves are bizarre and incongruent. They seem to involve socks and monkeys. And eating monkeys. And other marginally interesting things. There's also weird dialogue over certain bits, which doesn't have much to do with anything else in the lyrics, or itself. They aren't really integral to the song; they seem to exist only to give the boys something to sing, and (possibly) to confuse the listener. If you're looking for music that makes some sort of statement, try Leonard Cohen, The Clash or even Cibo Matto.

Although the production is amateurish and the lyrics are infantile, this song brings out feeling in the listener. It shows how music can provoke emotion regardless of its social merits. Clearly, music has always been a tool of the propagandist: from Avé Maria to O Canada. If Monkey Madness has no other purpose, it is to expose the peculiar manipulative power of music. Apparently, it's also fun to drown an innocent monkey by tying it to an anvil.

Get an mp3 of this song at mp3.com/bigpoogenerator

For those still interested, here are the lyrics:
(Italics denote spoken bits)

Monkey madness, all around:
Turtles flying off the ground!
Screaming monkeys will kill your sleeping fish.

Stain: Hi there Mr. Wilton Honeydew Food! Or should I say, "Captain Poultry?" Ha!
Poultry: Ha ha ha! Well hello there, little Stain. What can I do to you today?
Stain: Can you hit me over the head with a baseball bat and tell me a story about monkeys?
Poultry: Oh. Well, okay. I was in a store, and I saw these monkeys playing. I yelled to them to darn their socks, but they didn't understand what I was saying- but they giggled harshly.
Stain: Ha ha! That was a great story, Captain Poultry. Now could you sing me a song about food?
Poultry: Oh! Why, sure!

Food, food, everywhere.
Free the cow. Free the chair.
Lead me into a hamburger lair.
Feed me anything, I don't care!

Monkey madness, all around:
Turtles flying off the ground!
Screaming monkeys will kill your sleeping fish.

Monkeys like food. Like food like burgers. Monkeys like burgers. Monkeys are burgers. Burgers are good. Monkeys are deadly!

Monkey madness, all around:
Turtles flying off the ground!
Screaming monkeys will kill your sleeping fish.

Stain: That was great, Captain Poultry. Now can you tell me another story about monkeys?
Poultry: Ah. Well, certainly.

Most monkeys can swim;
This particular one cannot.
It tries to stay above the water.
But the anvil tied to its legs won't let it float.
But the anvil tied to its legs won't let it float.

Food, food, everywhere:
That cow, that dog, that funny monkey.
That funny monkey.
That funny monkey looks confused.
Let's eat the funny monkey.
Let's eat the funny monkey.
Let's eat, eat, eat that funny monkey.

Stain: Captain Poultry? Will you tell me what the monkey looked like?
Poultry: Well, sure.

His face was like a beam of sunshine,
that spears me in the eye.
Food, make me happy,
Food in my tummy.
Monkey in my tummy make me happy.