Size does matter

I was standing in line in the Pharmacy today, when I picked up several items. It was amusing, I thought, that the smallest one was the cheapest, and the biggest the most expensive. So I asked the (female) clerk if they charged according to size. The friend I was with (also female) said "What? Size doesn't matter." And the clerk said, knowingly: "It does." And then she added, even more knowingly: "Believe me, size does matter."

I hate that attitude in women, and in people in general. It's true, size matters. Size matters alot. What can we do? Only most people don't understand how. I really wanted to ask her "So how big is your vagina?"

Even the person who wrote the Kama Sutra realized there are differently sized penises and differently sized vaginas. In the Kama Sutra, penises and vaginas are classed into three groups each (you can check exactly which, just follow the link). According to him, the best fit is when each size meets the relative size of the opposite sex. Then they match. The worst is when a hippo meets a rabbit (or whatever animals they have there - big penis, small vagina is what I mean).

So what matters about size is the fit. Not the realtive size. Get it into your heads. A big penis is not automatically good. The bigger it is, the more women it is likely to hurt, and in more positions. A small vagina is the female equivalent of a big penis, only you don't see it from the outside. Just like women talking about how great a big cock is, there are guys who talk about a tight pussy. A man who needs a tight pussy probably has a small penis. A woman who loves big cocks probably has a big vagina. And that's fine. To each, his own.

But it's important to realize that absolute size is unimportant, and size matters both ways. And what matters is how they are together, not apart.

Why does it matter? Let's put Jane in the female corner and Dick in the male corner.

Jane: Of course size matters, big ones are important for my satisfaction.
Dick: That's unfair. As a straight man I have no idea of whether my penis is relatively big or relatively small. There's no real way for me to find out, either.
Jane: That's hardly my problem, is it? If you're not big enough, you're not big enough. Nothing either of us can do about it.
Dick: If it were too big, would it hurt you?
Jane: Oh yes.
Dick: So, you want to be hurt?
Jane: No, I want it big, but not too big.
Dick: You want perfection?
Jane: No, I, well, I want something in the right area, at least.
Dick: Did you know that studies at the Kinsey Institute have proved that your vagina grows slacker with every lover you take? It's as if I have to compensate for your sexual history.
Jane: Just as your penis will grow larger with age, but lessen in potency. What are you getting at here?
Dick: I don't know. I just feel that I'd be acting like a sexist prick if I told you that your breasts were too small or that your thighs were too fat, but you seem perfectly entitled to tell me that my penis is too small. How does that work?
Jane: That, Dick old son, is just the way it is.

I apologise to all devoted Dick and Jane readers for the absence of Spot the Dog, but he didn't really have much to add.