From
The white people (1899, 1922 ed)
by
Arthur Machen
THE GREEN BOOK
The morocco binding of the book was faded,
and the colour had grown faint, but there were no stains nor
bruises nor marks of usage. The book looked as if it had
been bought "on a visit to London" some seventy or
eighty years ago, and had somehow been forgotten and
suffered to lie away out of sight. There was an old,
delicate, lingering odour about it, such an odour as
sometimes haunts an ancient piece of furniture for a century
or more. The end-papers, inside the binding, were oddly
decorated with coloured patterns and faded gold. It looked
small, but the paper was fine, and there were many leaves,
closely covered with minute, painfully formed characters.
I found this book (the manuscript began) in a
drawer in the old bureau that stands on the landing. It was
a very rainy day and I could not go out, so in the afternoon
I got a candle and rummaged in the bureau. Nearly all the
drawers were full of old dresses, but one of the small ones
looked empty, and I found this book hidden right at the
back. I wanted a book like this, so I took it to write in.
It is full of secrets. I have a great many other books of
secrets I have written, hidden in a safe place, and I am
going to write here many of the old secrets and some new
ones; but there are some I shall not put down at all. I must
not write down the real names of the days and months which I
found out a year ago, nor the way to make the Aklo letters,
or the Chian language, or the great beautiful Circles, nor
the Mao Games, nor the chief songs. I may write something
about all these things but not the way to do them, for
peculiar reasons. And I must not say who the Nymphs are, or
the Dôls, or Jeelo, or what voolas mean. All these are
most secret secrets, and I am glad when I remember what they
are, and how many wonderful languages I know, but there are
some things that I call the secrets of the secrets of the
secrets that I dare not think of unless I am quite alone,
and then I shut my eyes, and put my hands over them and
whisper the word, and the Alala comes. I only do this at
night in my room or in certain woods that I know, but I must
not describe them, as they are secret woods. Then there are
the Ceremonies, which are all of them important, but some
are more delightful than others -- there are the White
Ceremonies, and the Green Ceremonies, and the Scarlet
Ceremonies. The Scarlet Ceremonies are the best, but there
is only one place where they can be performed properly,
though there is a very nice imitation which I have done in
other places. Besides these, I have the dances, and the
Comedy, and I have done the Comedy sometimes when the others
were looking, and they didn't understand anything about it.
I was very little when I first knew about these things.
When I was very small, and mother was alive, I can remember remembering
things before that, only it has all got confused. But I remember when I
was five or six I heard them talking about me when they thought I was not
noticing. They were saying how queer I was a year or two before, and
how nurse had called my mother to come and listen to me talking all to
myself, and I was saying words that nobody could understand. I was
speaking the Xu language, but I only remember a very few of the words,
as it was about the little white faces that used to look at me when I was
lying in my cradle. They used to talk to me, and I learnt their language
and talked to them in it about some great white place where they lived,
where the trees and the grass were all white, and there were white
hills as high up as the moon, and a cold wind. I have often dreamed of it
afterwards, but the faces went away when I was very little.
But a wonderful thing happened when I was about five. My
nurse was carrying me on her shoulder; there was a field of
yellow corn, and we went through it, it was very hot. Then
we came to a path through a wood, and a tall man came after
us, and went with us till we came to a place where there was
a deep pool, and it was very dark and shady. Nurse put me
down on the soft moss under a tree, and she said: "She
can't get to the pond now." So they left me there, and
I sat quite still and watched, and out of the water and out
of the wood came two wonderful white people, and they began
to play and dance and sing. They were a kind of creamy white
like the old ivory figure in the drawing-room; one was a
beautiful lady with kind dark eyes, and a grave face, and
long black hair, and she smiled such a strange sad smile at
the other, who laughed and came to her. They played
together, and danced round and round the pool, and they sang
a song till I fell asleep. Nurse woke me up when she came
back, and she was looking something like the lady had
looked, so I told her all about it, and asked her why she
looked like that. At first she cried, and then she looked
very frightened, and turned quite pale. She put me down on
the grass and stared at me, and I could see she was shaking
all over. Then she said I had been dreaming, but I knew I
hadn't. Then she made me promise not to say a word about it
to anybody, and if I did I should be thrown into the black
pit. I was not frightened at all, though nurse was, and I
never forgot about it, because when I shut my eyes and it
was quite quiet, and I was all alone, I could see them
again, very faint and far away, but very splendid; and
little bits of the song they sang came into my head, but I
couldn't sing it.
I was thirteen, nearly fourteen, when I had a
very singular adventure, so strange that the day on which it
happened is always called the White Day. My mother had been
dead for more than a year, and in the morning I had lessons,
but they let me go out for walks in the afternoon. And this
afternoon I walked a new way, and a little brook led me into
a new country, but I tore my frock getting through some of
the difficult places, as the way was through many bushes,
and beneath the low branches of trees, and up thorny
thickets on the hills, and by dark woods full of creeping
thorns. And it was a long, long way. It seemed as if I was
going on for ever and ever, and I had to creep by a place
like a tunnel where a brook must have been, but all the
water had dried up, and the floor was rocky, and the bushes
had grown overhead till they met, so that it was quite dark.
And I went on and on through that dark place; it was a long,
long way. And I came to a hill that I never saw before. I
was in a dismal thicket full of black twisted boughs that
tore me as I went through them, and I cried out because I
was smarting all over, and then I found that I was climbing,
and I went up and up a long way, till at last the thicket
stopped and I came out crying just under the top of a big
bare place, where there were ugly grey stones lying all
about on the grass, and here and there a little twisted,
stunted tree came out from under a stone, like a snake. And
I went up, right to the top, a long way. I never saw such
big ugly stones before; they came out of the earth some of
them, and some looked as if they had been rolled to where
they were, and they went on and on as far as I could see, a
long, long way. I looked out from them and saw the country,
but it was strange. It was winter time, and there were black
terrible woods hanging from the hills all round; it was like
seeing a large room hung with black curtains, and the shape
of the trees seemed quite different from any I had ever seen
before. I was afraid. Then beyond the woods there were other
hills round in a great ring, but I had never seen any of
them; it all looked black, and everything had a voor over
it. It was all so still and silent, and the sky was heavy
and grey and sad, like a wicked voorish dome in Deep Dendo.
I went on into the dreadful rocks. There were hundreds and
hundreds of them. Some were like horrid-grinning men; I
could see their faces as if they would jump at me out of the
stone, and catch hold of me, and drag me with them back into
the rock, so that I should always be there. And there were
other rocks that were like animals, creeping, horrible
animals, putting out their tongues, and others were like
words that I could not say, and others like dead people
lying on the grass. I went on among them, though they
frightened me, and my heart was full of wicked songs that
they put into it; and I wanted to make faces and twist
myself about in the way they did, and I went on and on a
long way till at last I liked the rocks, and they didn't
frighten me any more. I sang the songs I thought of; songs
full of words that must not be spoken or written down. Then
I made faces like the faces on the rocks, and I twisted
myself about like the twisted ones, and I lay down flat on
the ground like the dead ones, and I went up to one that was
grinning, and put my arms round him and hugged him. And so I
went on and on through the rocks till I came to a round
mound in the middle of them. It was higher than a mound, it
was nearly as high as our house, and it was like a great
basin turned upside down, all smooth and round and green,
with one stone, like a post, sticking up at the top. I
climbed up the sides, but they were so steep I had to stop
or I should have rolled all the way down again, and I should
have knocked against the stones at the bottom, and perhaps
been killed. But I wanted to get up to the very top of the
big round mound, so I lay down flat on my face, and took
hold of the grass with my hands and drew myself up, bit by
bit, till I was at the top Then I sat down on the stone in
the middle, and looked all round about. I felt I had come
such a long, long way, just as if I were a hundred miles
from home, or in some other country, or in one of the
strange places I had read about in the "Tales of the Genie" and the
"Arabian Nights," or as if I
had gone across the sea, far away, for years and I had found
another world that nobody had ever seen or heard of before,
or as if I had somehow flown through the sky and fallen on
one of the stars I had read about where everything is dead
and cold and grey, and there is no air, and the wind doesn't
blow. I sat on the stone and looked all round and down and
round about me. It was just as if I was sitting on a tower
in the middle of a great empty town, because I could see
nothing all around but the grey rocks on the ground. I
couldn't make out their shapes any more, but I could see
them on and on for a long way, and I looked at them, and
they seemed as if they had been arranged into patterns, and
shapes, and figures. I knew they couldn't be. because I had
seen a lot of them coming right out of the earth, joined to
the deep rocks below, so I looked again, but still I saw
nothing but circles, and small circles inside big ones, and
pyramids, and domes, and spires, and they seemed all to go
round and round the place where I was sitting, and the more
I looked, the more I saw great big rings of rocks, getting
bigger and bigger, and I stared so long that it felt as if
they were all moving and turning, like a great wheel, and I
was turning, too, in the middle. I got quite dizzy and queer
in the head, and everything began to be hazy and not clear,
and I saw little sparks of blue light, and the stones looked
as if they were springing and dancing and twisting as they
went round and round and round. I was frightened again, and
I cried out loud, and jumped up from the stone I was sitting
on, and fell down. When I got up I was so glad they all
looked still, and I sat down on the top and slid down the
mound, and went on again. I danced as I went in the peculiar
way the rocks had danced when I got giddy, and I was so glad
I could do it quite well, and I danced and danced along, and
sang extraordinary songs that came into my head. At last I
came to the edge of that great flat hill, and there were no
more rocks, and the way went again through a dark thicket in
a hollow. It was just as bad as the other one I went through
climbing up, but I didn't mind this one, because I was so
glad I had seen those singular dances and could imitate
them. I went down, creeping through the bushes, and a tall
nettle stung me on my leg, and made me burn, but I didn't
mind it, and I tingled with the boughs and the thorns, but I
only laughed and sang. Then I got out of the thicket into a
close valley, a little secret place like a dark passage that
nobody ever knows of, because it was so narrow and deep and
the woods were so thick round it. There is a steep bank with
trees hanging over it, and there the ferns keep green all
through the winter, when they are dead and brown upon the
hill, and the ferns there have a sweet, rich smell like what
oozes out of fir trees. There was a little stream of water
running down this valley, so small that I could easily step
across it. I drank the water with my hand, and it tasted
like bright, yellow wine, and it sparkled and bubbled as it
ran down over beautiful red and yellow and green stones, so
that it seemed alive and all colours at once. I drank it,
and I drank more with my hand, but I couldn't drink enough,
so I lay down and bent my head and sucked the water up with
my lips. It tasted much better, drinking it that way, and a
ripple would come up to my mouth and give me a kiss, and I
laughed, and drank again, and pretended there was a nymph,
like the one in the old picture at home, who lived in the
water and was kissing me. So I bent low down to the water,
and put my lips softly to it, and whispered to the nymph
that I would come again. I felt sure it could not be common
water, I was so glad when I got up and went on; and I danced
again and went up and up the valley, under hanging hills.
And when I came to the top, the ground rose up in front of
me, tall and steep as a wall, and there was nothing but the
green wall and the sky. I thought of "for ever and for
ever, world without end, Amen"; and I thought I must
have really found the end of the world, because it was like
the end of everything, as if there could be nothing at all
beyond, except the kingdom of Voor, where the light goes
when it is put out, and the water goes when the sun takes it
away. I began to think of all the long, long way I had
journeyed, how I had found a brook and followed it, and
followed it on, and gone through bushes and thorny thickets,
and dark woods full of creeping thorns. Then I had crept up
a tunnel under trees, and climbed a thicket, and seen all
the grey rocks, and sat in the middle of them when they
turned round, and then I had gone on through the grey rocks
and come down the hill through the stinging thicket and up
the dark valley, all a long, long way. I wondered how I
should get home again, if I could ever find the way, and if
my home was there any more, or if it were turned and
everybody in it into grey rocks, as in the "Arabian
Nights." So I sat down on the grass and thought what I
should do next. I was tired, and my feet were hot with
walking, and as I looked about I saw there was a wonderful
well just under the high, steep wall of grass. All the
ground round it was covered with bright, green, dripping
moss; there was every kind of moss there, moss like
beautiful little ferns, and like palms and fir trees, and it
was all green as jewellery, and drops of water hung on it
like diamonds. And in the middle was the great well, deep
and shining and beautiful, so clear that it looked as if I
could touch the red sand at the bottom, but it was far
below. I stood by it and looked in, as if I were looking in
a glass. At the bottom of the well, in the middle of it, the
red grains of sand were moving and stirring all the time,
and I saw how the water bubbled up, but at the top it was
quite smooth, and full and brimming. It was a great well,
large like a bath, and with the shining, glittering green
moss about it, it looked like a great white jewel, with
green jewels all round. My feet were so hot and tired that I
took off my boots and stockings, and let my feet down into
the water, and the water was soft and cold, and when I got
up I wasn't tired any more, and I felt I must go on, farther
and farther, and see what was on the other side of the wall.
I climbed up it very slowly, going sideways all the time,
and when I got to the top and looked over, I was in the
queerest country I had seen, stranger even than the hill of
the grey rocks. It looked as if earth-children had been
playing there with their spades, as it was all hills and
hollows, and castles and walls made of earth and covered
with grass. There were two mounds like big beehives, round
and great and solemn, and then hollow basins, and then a
steep mounting wall like the ones I saw once by the seaside
where the big guns and the soldiers were. I nearly fell into
one of the round hollows, it went away from under my feet so
suddenly, and I ran fast down the side and stood at the
bottom and looked up. It was strange and solemn to look up.
There was nothing but the grey, heavy sky and the sides of
the hollow; everything else had gone away, and the hollow
was the whole world, and I thought that at night it must be
full of ghosts and moving shadows and pale things when the
moon shone down to the bottom at the dead of the night, and
the wind wailed up above. It was so strange and solemn and
lonely, like a hollow temple of dead heathen gods. It
reminded me of a tale my nurse had told me when I was quite
little; it was the same nurse that took me into the wood
where I saw the beautiful white people. And I remembered how
nurse had told me the story one winter night, when the wind
was beating the trees against the wall, and crying and
moaning in the nursery chimney. She said there was,
somewhere or other, a hollow pit, just like the one I was
standing in, everybody was afraid to go into it or near it,
it was such a bad place. But once upon a time there was a
poor girl who said she would go into the hollow pit, and
everybody tried to stop her, but she would go. And she went
down into the pit and came back laughing, and said there was
nothing there at all, except green grass and red stones, and
white stones and yellow flowers. And soon after people saw
she had most beautiful emerald earrings, and they asked how
she got them, as she and her mother were quite poor. But she
laughed, and said her earrings were not made of emeralds at
all, but only of green grass. Then, one day, she wore on her
breast the reddest ruby that any one had ever seen, and it
was as big as a hen's egg, and glowed and sparkled like a
hot burning coal of fire. And they asked how she got it, as
she and her mother were quite poor. But she laughed, and
said it was not a ruby at all, but only a red stone. Then
one day she wore round her neck the loveliest necklace that
any one had ever seen, much finer than the queen's finest,
and it was made of great bright diamonds, hundreds of them,
and they shone like all the stars on a night in June. So
they asked her how she got it, as she and her mother were
quite poor. But she laughed, and said they were not diamonds
at all, but only white stones. And one day she went to the
Court, and she wore on her head a crown of pure angel-gold,
so nurse said, and it shone like the sun, and it was much
more splendid than the crown the king was wearing himself,
and in her ears she wore the emeralds, and the big ruby was
the brooch on her breast, and the great diamond necklace was
sparkling on her neck. And the king and queen thought she
was some great princess from a long way off, and got down
from their thrones and went to meet her, but somebody told
the king and queen who she was, and that she was quite poor.
So the king asked why she wore a gold crown, and how she got
it, as she and her mother were so poor. And she laughed, and
said it wasn't a gold crown at all, but only some yellow
flowers she had put in her hair. And the king thought it was
very strange, and said she should stay at the Court, and
they would see what would happen next. And she was so lovely
that everybody said that her eyes were greener than the
emeralds, that her lips were redder than the ruby, that her
skin was whiter than the diamonds, and that her hair was
brighter than the golden crown. So the king's son said he
would marry her, and the king said he might. And the bishop
married them, and there was a great supper, and after- wards
the king's son went to his wife's room. But just when he had
his hand on the door, he saw a tall, black man, with a
dreadful face, standing in front of the door, and a voice
said--
Venture not upon your life,
This is mine own wedded wife.
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