You can't make someone love you

You can't make someone love you. Not even if you do everything right. Not even if you listen to everything they are saying. Not just the words they choose to speak, but the words unspoken. Not even if you can spot them in the middle of a crowd just by knowing the way they move. Not by picking up a scent down a random hall and knowing it's the scent they wear.

You can't make someone love you. Not even when you think you can have anyone you want. Not even when you want to give them pieces of yourself. Not even when you hold them in the middle of the night. Not even if you're there whenever they need you. And there when they don't. Not even if you'd do anything for them.

You can't make someone love you. Not even if you ask them to. Not even if you can't stop loving them.

(Yay, rescued nodeshell.)

Rancid Pickle: I'm so happy for you, and I thank you for sharing. I suppose that proves one thing, never give up. :)

I had to think long and hard about writing an answer node to your rescued nodeshell, Ril, but I'm afraid I must disagree with you on this one. The reason I have to disagree is that I actually did it.

When I first met TLP, I was nuts about her. This was in high school, and I felt different about her (I just wanted to get the other girls I was with naked... yes, shallow but honest). There was something about TLP that made me feel weird inside.

Did I mention that she totally and completely hated my guts? Yup, she wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. Did that discourage me? Well, yes, but I was persistent.

We became friends after a year of my bugging her. We actually became such good friends that she would never even think of going out with me. It would be too weird. Did I let that keep me from hoping? No, but it sure did suck.

I introduced her to several folks whom she ended up dating. People I never would have allowed near her had she even shown a sign that she liked them. Talk about doing stupid shit... I was the King of furnishing her with beaus. Did I ever try to break up her relationships? Nope, she was happy at the time, so I was happy for her, even when her friends were yacking about how great she was in bed and when they were lip-locked on my couch. That's the mark of a true friend... putting themselves last.

When the breakups happened, she was there crying on my shoulder wondering why she couldn't find anyone like me. Someone who was always there when she needed comforting. Someone who looked out for her. Someone who gave her his last ten dollars so she could take the S.A.T.'s to go to college, and he had to go without eating for the week (I never told her that to this day).

Well, she moved away and I moved on. I was transferring to California and I ran into her in Texas. She said that she found someone, and that someone was me. That night she quit her job, packed her stuff and moved out to California with me. We were married a few months later, and we're still married after 14 years.

So I say yes, you can make someone love you, but it takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice. Take a look at my home node once in a while, and you may see one of the three reasons why I'm still happily married. It's worth all of the heart-wrenching pain in the end.

Apparently this node is true.

When they say they've done too many bad things in their past, and fucked up too many times, and that it's too late to become what they feel they should have been, it doesn't matter how much you try to correct their pessimism. No matter how much you try to reinforce that they aren't hopeless, that they really are a beautiful person, and that it isn't too late for them to accomplish their dreams. If they don't love you, they'll just be annoyed that you're trying to be there for them when they want someone else there instead.

When they say the things they most desire are to feel loved, wanted, and cared for; when they say they want people to know when they're just in a bad mood and to not hold any grudges against them for their frustrated bursts of anger; and when they say they just want a shoulder for them to cry on, understanding that they're frustrated by sadness and not hatred... It doesn't matter. They're just saying that. Unless they really love you, they'll never see what you're doing. They'll never appreciate it. They'll just say your persistent attempt to be friends is an annoyance. Your determination to not give up on them as a human being, and to still offer your friendship to enrich their life is more harassment than friendship in their eyes. You can't change that.

You can't reason with people who don't love you. You can't present your good qualities, because they don't care. Some people are just too selfish and short sighted. They may continue acting towards some guy across the country in the same way you act towards them. They may be to someone else the exact same way you are to them. And nothing you can do will make them act reasonable and realize that you're as heartbroken as they are. And they're incredibly mean for never letting you talk to them the way they talk to the person they are still pursuing.

And there is no satisfaction in knowing that their double standards are probably what makes them unworthy of having that person they love love them back, because you love them and you really don't want to think such thoughts about them. But you think them sometimes. You can come to those conclusions. Because you are who you are, and that's why she doesn't love you and never will. Because you can't stop your mind from getting frustrated by her lack of decency to at least remain friends and let you keep trying to make her love you, like she keeps trying to make him love her. She can see that fault in you, and you can't make it go away. Because you need her to become a better person, and she's not good enough herself to help you it seems. Some things just always suck.