Cream of wheat is the result of cooking-down cracked wheat to a high-fiber gruel. Cream of wheat is best enjoyed hot, and best enjoyed when it is cold outside like during the winters of Minnesota. Many a day's survival for me as a young child in Minnetonka, Minnesota can be attributed to the slow-decaying warmth given from a bowl of cream of wheat.

The Original Cream of Wheat Jingle

Cream of Wheat is so good to eat
Yes we have it every day;
We sing this song, it will make us strong,
And it makes us shout "Hooray!"
It's good for growing babies
And grown-ups too to eat;
For all the family's breakfast
You can't beat Cream of Wheat!

Cream of wheat is high in iron and low in fat; and, it has been shown to lower LDL cholesterol. Because it is also high in fiber, it may also be used as a weak all-natural laxative.

Title of a song well known to members of Northfield Minnesota where Malt-O-Meal is made. The song is sung by St. Olaf College's male acapella group "The Limestones"

Just when thing were looking up and nothing could wrong,
a very bad thing started happening that's why I wrote this song.

It happened one morning about 9 am, just eating with another kid, and on this fateful day this is what I did.
I wish I could change that fateful day cause this is what I did.

I ate....
Cream of Wheat in a Malt-O-Meal town.
What once was looking up is now on the way down.
Yes I ate,
Cream of Wheat in a Malt-O-Meal town.
What once was looking up is now on the way down.

I was doing just fine with the books and the babes I had an awesome life
Then I got stood up and I flunked a test and then began my strife
So I thought I'd go down to an honor house and drink away my blues
but the very next morning I woke up smooching Ole Avenue.

Cause I ate....
Cream of Wheat in a Malt-O-Meal town.
What once was looking up is now on the way down.
Yes I ate,
Cream of Wheat in a Malt-O-Meal town.
What once was looking up is now on the way down.

(Seniors only)
Soon I'm gonna graduate my work is almost through
when I want to recall my college days this is what I'll do.

I'll Eat....
Cream of Wheat in a Malt-O-Meal town.
What once was looking up is now on the way down.
Yes I'll eat,
Cream of Wheat in a Malt-O-Meal town.
What once was looking up is now on the way down.

By saying "cream of wheat" anywhere in the suburbs of NYC will conjure up the following joke for the uniniated:

Note: an Accomplice is reccomended.

Two penguins are playing checkers on an iceberg. As one penguin is moving his piece, there is a loud crack and the iceberg splits in half, right down the center of the checkerboard. Now both penguins start to drift apart. The one penguin looks at the other accross from the crack, and says


Cream of Wheat!

Now's your cue to burst out laughing, and your accomplice, if you have one, will do the same. Anyone who's heard this one already will probably start laughing too. Now the clueless will either:

1. Puzzle it out, and ask what the joke is, whereas you can all mock him for not getting it. BUT it shows that he's not just some poser following you around and politely laughing at all your jokes

OR

2. He'll start laughing along with you, upon which you all stop laughing and demand he explain the joke. The purpose is to see if the fool will laugh if he has no idea of the punchline(of which there is none). Good for finding out who is a poser.

Then you can laugh at him, I guess. Don't worry, let him join in for the next time.

Andy Kaufman took this bizarre humor to funnier levels, but it was usually he who humiliated himself, so he could have the last laugh on the audience, but his trick was they didn't know it.

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