Lesbian conspiracy

A group of militant lesbians who have banded together to eliminate men from the planet, they are currently collecting sperm and placing it in freezer-vault caches around the world, they will use this sperm and artifical insemination techniques to perpetuate the species after they have eradicated all the men, they are currently working on vast research projects in genetic manipulation to insure all female offspring and a program to artifically replicate sperm after their supply runs out. They communicate via Male-bashing bumper stickers and secret hand signals. They can be found in all segments of society and are adept at undercover work.

This is the truth.

The feminists have acquired nuclear weapons, and they plan to sterilize the entire planet if that's what it takes to kill off all the men. This can be found in paragraph 3, page 10 of The Feminist Agenda (Random House, 1973).

It goes without saying (and should certainly be said without justification) that feminism and lesbianism are the same phenomenon: After all, radical feminism sounds like the kind of thing that lesbians would be into, and it is rhetorically acceptable to refer to all feminists as radical feminists, because they're, like, really bad and stuff so you should say mean things about them.

All you need to know is that all feminists hate men and want to kill them. This is easily proven: Any feminist who claims otherwise is either lying (feminists always lie: Otherwise, they'd be telling the truth, and that would mean they're not pure evil, but they are pure evil, so they must be lying. QED), or if she's not lying, then she's not a feminist (it is axiomatic that all feminists hate men and want to kill them; therefore, any "feminist" who doesn't think that way is obviously something else, maybe a Shriner. QED).

Only by incessantly weeping and moaning about this shocking state of affairs can we hope to save ourselves from certain destruction.

When I first got to Wells College there was a lot of squirming on the part of incoming freshwomen at the realization that they were living on an asteroid populated exclusively by highly intelligent lesbian and bisexual women. About 500 of them. There's really nothing to do around here either except gossip, so the straight girls got really weird about distancing themselves from the obvious lesbians for a while and a friend of mine got hassled and it was really awful.

Then I mentioned this to a couple of upperclass women and they found both that behavior and my outrage amusing, because they'd heard about this before.

"Wait 'till October" they said, "after the panels given by the gay rights group on campus and after they haven't heard a male voice under 30 in so long they can't remember what it's like" (Insert cynical laughter here)

So now the straight girls (freshwomen) across the hall from me are 'in love' with each other, girls who obviously grew up under a rock and didn't know what 'gay' meant until they got here now 'identify themselves as lesbians', and fewer and fewer boyfriends are coming up to visit...hmmm.

The idea that lesbians recruit or that they're all united to undermine society as we know it is a silly silly notion. But...

On the other hand it's always amazing to look at what happens when you get a whole group of girls in one place with nothing to do but give over to random sexual inclinations and morbid self contemplation. The dynamic here is unlike any on the planet, I swear to God.