A fashion explosion waiting to happen.
Certain produce requires rubber bands to keep its unruly tendrils to itself. These rubber bands prevent the vegetable from losing its shape - No one wants a stalk of broccoli with broken branches.
These rubberbands come in all sorts of sizes, according to its contents. I find that broccoli and asparagus have some of the wider bands, which are more suited for their true purpose...
a bracelet.
Stretch out the rubber band on something a few times larger than your wrist, possibly a coffee cup or mason jar.
While perusing your local grocer's veggie aisle, choose a color that is well-suited to your taste. This is the real feature of the produce rubber band. They come in colors previously unseen by your average cube dweller or over-eager office supply salesperson. Brilliant violets and stoic reds. If you're lucky, said 'band will also have the produce code on it. The produce code is a four-digit integer preceeded by a hash (#). This code is used to ring-up produce, since its impractical to put a bar code on a vegetable. IIRC, broccoli is #4060, and asparagus is #4080.
Enjoy your new accessory and wear it proudly. If you find that this sort of thing doesn't suit you, at least you purchased something to combat colorectal cancer (Pssst... it's because it has fibre).
See also: Trainwreck: Cephalopunk's Fashion Primer
This is my first node. Please tell me what you think.
I've fixed the apostrophes. I know how to use an apostrophe, but I often reverse the rules. Silly me. Thanks for the feedback, guys. I'll try to improve the quality of future nodes. BTW, the part about fashion explosion, it's sarcastic - I'm aluding to the fact that I can barely dress myself; "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit."