A Rather Dry Look at RAGE
Road rage, “going postal” and incidents of overt hostility have become common occurrences, and repeated fodder for the nightly news. Are we becoming accustomed to behavior that was considered unacceptable not long ago?
I was recently involved in an online discussion about behavior and rage in the workplace. The topic was inspired by a report that, on the face of it, seemed to indicate that workers perceive outbursts of anger as indicative of a strong personality, of a “winner”. The position of the moderator was that rage is appropriate under certain circumstances. He went on to describe two situations where he became involved in profane shouting matches at work. He indicated that the first exchange ended poorly for all involved, but that in the second, rage, (and “words he learned in the Navy”) was an appropriate response. He felt that he was in a “no win situation”, and interestingly enough, he lost his job over this incident. I subsequently had access to additional information about the “study”, and I discovered that the two choices presented were (1) those who exhibited outbursts of rage when stressed, or (2) those who said or did nothing at all. Of course those in category (2) were perceived as spineless losers, so by default, those in category (1) were “winners”.
The following is distilled from my posts to the discussion: I really would like to see how others feel about this issue.
I believe that overt "rage" is conceived as a character weakness, not strength. That being said, I never leave a confrontation unanswered. I stand my ground and state my position as best I can, as even mannered as possible, no matter how agitated I may be. This to me is "being professional". I know that co-workers are usually monitoring heated exchanges, and although in the fray of the battle it may not be as satisfying as a screaming tirade, I find that in the long run, I come off better than my counterpart. Invariably, time bears this out. One way or another, I find that I receive positive confirmation, and the feeling that comes when my position is proved out and the asshole gets his comeuppance (I got that S.O.B.!) is stress relieving, sublime, and better than the immediate gratification of overt rage. Something akin to "revenge is a dish best served cold".
I hold a supervisory position for a large construction company. I deal with a varied group of individuals. Some appreciate the finer points of "creative" language (“are you out of your fucking mind?”), others definitely do not (“I’m not sure that I completely agree with your position. Perhaps we could schedule a meeting to discuss our options”). What has served me well for over twenty years is to try to never loose my cool. I had no "philosophy" when I began working in my trade over 20 years ago. I started at the bottom. To me it was natural to handle challenges in a way that wouldn't get me punched out or make me look like a fool. In the workplace, everyone deserves a modicum of respect. At the end of the day I want to be able to look a company president or the laborer in the field in the eye and feel that we're on an even playing field. A lot of the rage today is the result of taking ourselves too seriously. I look around and see a lot of people creating their own crises by politicking and backstabbing. Confrontations occur when things don't go their way, usually over issues that don't have anything to do with their job to begin with. Rage, as with any other emotion, has its place. Let's save the rage for politicians and serial killers so as not to dilute it!