An album released by legendary pop punkers the Descendents in
1987, put out by SST Records. Code: SST 112. ASIN: B000000M1P (US site) B0000577M0 (UK site).*
I'm not going to
beat around the bush - this is, arguably, the worst thing the
Descendents have ever done. That doesn't mean it's really a bad
record, far from it, but it's really nowhere near as good as some of
the other classics brought into the world by the coffee obsessed
group. Milo Goes to College is ranked alongside Fresh Fruit for
Rotting Vegetables and Damaged as one of the best punk records of
the 80s. Everything Sucks is arguably the definitive pop punk
record, and probably my favourite album of the 90s. Cool to Be You,
their latest, is arguably a great third place compared to the above
two.
ALL, however, is simply a vaguely average album in a pile of
awesomeness. Which is a pity. But then, if you're a true Descendents
nut like me you'll probably buy it anyway.
The main problem with this album is that it's what is usually
called "experimental". aka, the band became a bit bored with doing
what they always do, and decided to try something a little
different. There are still some raging along punk songs, but there are
also songs drifting dangerously into metal territory, and some which
are simply pointless 6 minute meanderings. It's probably worth a
listen, but it's not in my CD player anywhere near as much as their
other releases are.
Tracks
I'll start off by mentioning the good ones. Album opener (well, the
real album opener) Coolidge is a pretty decent song. It's
got the usual self deprecation that Milo specialises
in, and is probably the most old skool Descendents song on the
record.
Van and Cameage are also reasonably good tracks, more of the
slow and thoughtful (or as some call it "whiny") kind that the band
also do reasonably well. Pep Talk is standard material for the band,
but they've done it much better in other places. Jealous of the
World (pretty catchy) and Clean Sheets finish up the songs which I
really like on this album. Unfortunately, most things after that are
distinctly average, or pretty annoying.
First, the "comedy" songs. ALL, a one second power chord/ drum
smash, with Milo shouting "ALL!!!" at the top of his voice, seems
pretty pointless, as does the No, ALL! "song" a few tracks
later. That lasts a whole 4 seconds, and the lyrics are "All? NO,
ALL!!!!". Some people think these "songs" are quite tongue in cheek
and amusing, but I think they are kind of pointless. The Descendents
can do comedy short songs, (eg Weinerschnitzel, My
Dad Sucks) but in my opinion the ones on this album aren't that
great. But if I thought that was bad, the song All-o-gistics really
takes the cake as far as pointlessness goes. It's a 3 minute long rant
with no tune, in which Milo talks about how the Bass Master General
met up with him - "we had a little snack - and he said drink of this
Bonus Cup, it is my blood..." and told him about the All-o-gistics,
laws which you must follow to become Allular. If this all sounds
like an ass load of idiocy, well, it pretty much is really. The laws
were slightly amusing ("Though shalt not commit laundry..") but
again, this song doesn't really work for me.
Then we come to the songs which at least mean well, but are still
not great. Iceman is basically metal, which just doesn't sound
right. Impressions is a random slow meandering which does pick up
towards the end, but again might have been best left on the editing
room floor. Uranus and Schizophrenia are songs in which nothing
seems to happen, but yet they take up to 6 minutes of nothing, and the
lyrics are the very definition of "uhh... what?".
Lineup
The band is well known for having members jump in and out, and
Bill Stevenson the drummer is technically the only constant
member. Milo Aukerman has sung on every Descendents record (at
least, all the ones in which they had a singer) but
often takes longs hiatuses from the group, at which point other people
have stepped in to sing. Milo returning caused the sister band ALL
to be brought into existence, as is mentioned above. If naming a band
after an album from a band which is almost the same as the first band
but not strikes you as a bad idea, I'm with you. But hey.
On this record, the band's lineup is actually the current (2004)
one, which is quite impressive. Which means this is the lineup that
recorded Everything Sucks also came out with this. Anyone who can
explain this, answers on a postcard please.
Verdict
I can't decide what to put here. On the one hand, this is not a
great album and could have been so much better, considering which band
it's by. On the other, it's got some pretty good songs, and if it
was released by some unknown band I would probably consider it a
pleasant surprise. If you have a compulsive need to own every
Descendents album like me (I'm getting there..) then you'll probably
end up buying it, but personally I wouldn't say it's a totally
worthwhile purchase for any less than obsessive fans. The best songs
from it are on Somery, the compilation album anyway. If you need any
further proof that this album isn't great, then check out this:
it doesn't have a picture of cartoon Milo on the front. I rest
my case.
* - Thanks to OldMiner for suggesting I include ASIN numbers.
Sources:
Owning the album (3 quid from ebay yah boo sucks to you)
Slightlys scary obsessive knowledge of the band.