In my many profligate hours spent on this site I've tasted of many secrets but none so terrifying, so bloodcurdlingly ghastly as this: It is by the slimmest of margins that the site avoided utter ruin by demoniac powers.
The day began innocently enough, I compulsively dumped my votes, spun the wheel of surprise until I'd gambled away my scant GP, and eventually wondered over to The Everything2 Voting/Experience System page to stare longingly at heights never attained by mortal men. I know many claim that the levels and experience points are mere vanity, that XP will not pay the rent, but for me it's always had that deep draw that only measurable progress and arbitrary yardsticks can evoke. The page accepts any range of numbers so long as the span between the numbers does not exceed one hundred. I'd tried in vain to find the top of the ladder but it just keeps going up at a rate of one level every twenty five hundred xp. If there is a secret level at infinity I don't know how to discover it. Listed along side each levels number was the title, required XP, minimum write ups, votes per day, and Chings per day. Since going there last I'd heard tell of noder named thefez who by dark, masochistic rites had descended below the status of a level zero initiate and become an Arcanist. I put -1 into the field and low and behold it showed Arcanist. A million points below zero, No votes or Chings but it was there plain as day. I could have left it at that, walked away and lived a normal life wrapped in the comforting ignorance.
I didn't. Instead I put -5 in hit Show levels!. It worked. It showed me the levels below Arcanist. It showed me that Master Arcanist exist, that they get five hundred votes and fifty chings per day. It showed me that another million experience points down one becomes a Demon with a thousand votes and a hundred daily chings. Beneath even that perversion of natural order sat the title of Archdemon with ten thousand votes and one thousand chings. I thank nate that it went no lower, that every negative million only led to a lower level and not a worse horror.
Imagine what damage a Demon could do to the very structure of Everything2. Every write up could receive a Ching. They would become meaningless, merit and quality would give way to chaos. The Gods in their infinite wisdom have put these powers beyond the reach of mortals but should some clever sorcerer ever discover a way to breach that seal I fear what havoc could be unleashed.
IRON NODER: WE'LL RUST WHEN WE'RE DEAD