Chord's New Writeupshttp://everything2.com/?node=New%20Writeups%20Atom%20Feed&foruser=Chord2024-03-05T13:27:51Z"I will live", screams Goofy to the lowering clouds, "I will live!" (fiction)http://m.everything2.com/user/Chord/writeups/%2522I+will+live%2522%252C+screams+Goofy+to+the+lowering+clouds%252C+%2522I+will+live%2521%2522Chordhttp://m.everything2.com/user/Chord2024-03-05T13:27:51Z2024-03-05T13:27:51Z<p>So Goofy has <a href="/title/Max%252C+right%253F+I+keep+forgetting.">a son</a>.</p>
<p>You thought he'd gotten married and had a kid the normal way, didn't you? And his wife mysteriously vanished?</p>
<p>WRONG! His son is a construct, made out of old crab-meat cans and the souls of all the dead parents in the <a href="/title/Disney">Disney</a> canon. </p>
<p>Goofy knew. He knew he could never have a son like the others. Not in the normal way. He knew <a href="/title/Can%2527t+have+an+adventure+if+your+parents+are+spoiling+your+fun%2521+Away+with+them%2521">the curse Disney had laid upon the world</a>, that all parents of heroes would die early. And Disney had <a href="/title/Somebody+up+there+likes+me">smiled upon him</a>, had made him Someone. Goofy knew his son would be a hero, like him.</p>
<p>But he so desperately wanted a child of his own.</p>
<p>So he forswore the company of others, and retreated into the darkness of <a href="/title/He%2527s+renting+it+from+Mickey">his lab</a>, deep below the earth, and there, by mysterious alchemical processes, he made his son, his heir. His son would not be a hero after all. Goofy<!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…Battered Bison Burger Balls (recipe)http://m.everything2.com/user/Chord/writeups/Battered+Bison+Burger+BallsChordhttp://m.everything2.com/user/Chord2024-03-04T03:43:17Z2024-03-04T03:43:17Z<p>Found a recipe for <a href="/title/The+finest+of+dining">meatballs</a> online and it said I had to put the meatballs in the oven for 15 minutes first before batter-frying. And I thought, feh! <a href="/title/That%2527s+the+American+way%2521">The frying ought to work fine on its own!</a></p>
<p>Which was true, the recipe turned out quite well. The hardest part was <a href="/title/It+grows+on+trees%252C+right%253F">getting the bison meat</a>. I might have misheard a couple things, but I'd heard that if you want to hunt bison you have to <a href="/title/They+love+dogs%252C+right%253F">dress up like a dog</a>. So I put on my dog-shaped onesie and a dog mask and went out there with a net, and I walked up to a bison and it was like "<em>What</em> are you doing?" and I was like "Hunting you? If you could just step into this net here." And the bison was like "Oh no you dont", and it charged right at me, and I had to <a href="/title/YEEP%2521">spring aside</a> -- and the bison wound up <a href="/title/YAAAAAAA+HOO+HOO+HOO+HOOEY%2521">going off a cliff</a> that was right behind me. Which, I am told, is the really old-fashioned way to do it. But if it works,<!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…Nothing outside the text will last (opinion)http://m.everything2.com/user/Chord/writeups/Nothing+outside+the+text+will+lastChordhttp://m.everything2.com/user/Chord2024-02-21T14:15:18Z2024-02-21T14:15:18Z<p>There is a tendency, among entertainment fandom these days, to treat the statements of an author about their work as somehow <a href="/title/Canon">canonical</a> to the work, despite those statements never being clarified within the text itself. People refer to this practice as the "Word of God".</p>
<p>Now, for some topics there has historically been a necessity to hang onto the author's extratextual utterances, because they are in reference to things that <em>c</em>ouldn't make it into the work even if the author wanted. I am referring specifically to <a href="/title/Gimme+the+gays+dammit">queer relationships</a> of any sort, where getting them shown in-text or on-screen has been an uphill battle, with editors and producers and studio heads <a href="/title/I+have+not+been+able+to+fathom+why+a+TV+show+producer+would+be+so+obstinate+about+the+matter+that+the+head+writer+would+have+to+fight+them+over+it">fighting LGBT representation</a> seemingly every step of the way -- such that the only way for an author to have an actual gay relationship is to imply it in<!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…It's Cheaper than an E-Bike, Right? (fiction)http://m.everything2.com/user/Chord/writeups/It%2527s+Cheaper+than+an+E-Bike%252C+Right%253FChordhttp://m.everything2.com/user/Chord2024-02-04T22:15:40Z2024-02-04T22:15:40Z<p>So I <a href="/title/Don%2527t+ask">pissed off the Mob</a> the other day.</p>
<p>And at first I thought, well, they can't attach a bomb to my car, because I don't <em>have</em> a car! <a href="/title/Take+THAT%2521">Ha HA!</a> But they stuck a firecracker to my bike.</p>
<p>It actually made the bike go faster, for a bit. So I thought, hey, wait a second. If I buy like fifty dollar's worth of fireworks and <a href="/title/I+saw+a+coyote+do+this+once.">stick them on the back of the bike</a>, I can just, like, woosh myself right home. And it would be less expensive than an E-bike. Right? Those things go for 2 grand at least. </p>
<p>So the next evening, I attached a large number of <a href="/title/If+anyone+asks%252C+I+got+them+up+in+Mass">possibly-less-than-legal</a> firework rockets to the back of the bike, tied the fuses together so they would all go off at the same time, mounted the bike, lit the fuse, braced myself and -- barely kept my grip on the bike as I took off like a rocket. <em>FWOOOOOOOOSH. </em></p>
<p>For about five seconds of the wind whipping in my face it was the most<!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…Against the Eyes, Chapter 14 (fiction)http://m.everything2.com/user/Chord/writeups/Against+the+Eyes%252C+Chapter+14Chordhttp://m.everything2.com/user/Chord2024-02-02T14:35:57Z2024-02-02T14:35:57Z<p>
There came to Maggie’s ears the <a href="/title/The+memory+of+younger+days">gentle rush of the breeze through
forest branches</a>, like the wash of the waves upon the shore. She
groaned as she sat up, not out of lingering drowsiness but because
sharp reports from her shoulderblades and lower back told
of what she had been through last night. And upon her forearms, now
that she saw them out of the blanket – <a href="/title/You+might+say+she%2527s+a+beast+in+the+sheets">long lines that had scabbed
over</a>, but that she had not been able to heal before falling asleep
from utter exhaustion.</p>
<p>She wondered,
idly, how such marks must stand out upon the pale skin of her lover.
She realized with a start that if she hadn’t been able to heal
herself before collapsing, she hadn’t been able to heal Alejandra
either. "Hm," she mumbled, "Alejandra, how are you
feeling? You okay?"</p>
<p>No answer. Maggie
looked to her left, where Alejandra had slept. An unkempt bedroll,
empty. She looked to her right, where Madame Balam had also slept.<!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…Against the Eyes, Chapter 13 (fiction)http://m.everything2.com/user/Chord/writeups/Against+the+Eyes%252C+Chapter+13Chordhttp://m.everything2.com/user/Chord2024-01-31T15:59:42Z2024-01-31T15:59:42Z<p>"So," said Alejandra, as she danced up close to Maggie, "you've been making quite the spectacle of yourself, this evening. Proving your power. Being a generous leader. I have a fair few things to talk to you about."</p>
<p>Maggie ceased her dancing, causing Alejandra to pause, looking curious. She took Alejandra's hand. "I am fairly tired. Could we have this discussion somewhere quiet? And then maybe have some other fun, if you like."</p>
<p>"Not yet." Alejandra gave Maggie a feather-light peck on
the cheek, and whispered into her ear, "<a href="/title/Save+the+last+dance">Save your last dance for me</a>." And then she spun away.</p>
<p>Thus were Maggie’s efforts to glean further information that
evening ruined, for as she danced with one person and another, hoping to glean any further information from them about Los Ojos, she consistently failed to ask them anything before they spun away. Her mind was too much on the curious pale woman who
caught her thoughts. What was it about Alejandra that gave her so
much<!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…