Seraph XIII's New Writeupshttp://everything2.com/?node=New%20Writeups%20Atom%20Feed&foruser=Seraph XIII2017-05-01T19:04:31ZMay 1, 2017 (log)http://m.everything2.com/user/Seraph+XIII/writeups/May+1%252C+2017Seraph XIIIhttp://m.everything2.com/user/Seraph+XIII2017-05-01T19:04:31Z2017-05-01T19:04:31Z<p>I find it funny how I'm most open about my feelings when I'm in pain. <a href="/title/Heart+flayed+out+in+a+dozen+directions">Heart flayed out in a dozen directions</a>, guess there's not much to hide. I suppose it says something <a href="/title/unhealthy">unhealthy</a> about me that pain is what leads to openness, but that's something to just shove down for today and deal with down the road. </p>
<p>Recently though, <a href="/title/a+new+challenger">a new challenger</a> has shown up on the block and taken some of my attention away from the maelstrom in my head. <a href="/title/Fear%252C+quite+the+cunt">Fear, quite the cunt</a>. I've felt fear like I haven't known for a long time, maybe 4 and a half years, when a close "friend" threatened <a href="/title/suicide">suicide</a> at 2 AM while I was asleep. Quite a fucking morning that was. Especially when you love the girl.
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<p>Now my fear stems from a similar sense of loss. My heart <a href="/title/fears">fears</a>, and <a href="/title/fears">fears</a>, and <a href="/title/fears">fears</a>, screaming in my head all night that I'm going to lose someone. That they're gone, never coming back. Maybe it's that the night always brings out the worst parts of my mind. Maybe it's a self-destructive, subconscious desire, a<!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…April 21, 2017 (personal)http://m.everything2.com/user/Seraph+XIII/writeups/April+21%252C+2017Seraph XIIIhttp://m.everything2.com/user/Seraph+XIII2017-04-21T06:20:05Z2017-04-21T06:20:05Z<p>Please do not message me about this, I'm taking care of things as of now, and I'd really rather not talk about this with anyone, I was just looking for a means to vent.</p>
<p><a href="/title/Please+do+not+read+this">Please don’t read this</a>. Please, stop at this line. Don’t read any deeper, I just wanted a place to project, <a href="/title/scream+into+the+void+and+knows+that+it+hears%252C+but+not+have+to+bear+the+weight+of+a+response">scream into the void and knows that it hears, but not have to bear the weight of a response</a>.</p>
<p><a href="/title/Limbo+is+the+most+beautiful+hell+I%25E2%2580%2599ve+ever+experienced">Limbo is the most beautiful hell I’ve ever experienced</a>. It’s been so long since I’ve had such a strong divide in my thoughts, wants, and actions. I’ve been <a href="/title/hurt">hurt</a> and done some <a href="/title/hurt">hurting</a>, and that’s been pretty constant, nothing to shake me up, but it’s been years since I’ve felt this strange sort of feeling. One half wants to leave, the other wants to stay, and both are wrong. One half says leave, because you must. The other says stay, because you need to. But the first says leave, not because leaving is right, but because it <a href="/title/hurt">hurts</a>, and the <a href="/title/hurt">hurting</a> is right. Likewise, the<!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…What I Want (personal)http://m.everything2.com/user/Seraph+XIII/writeups/What+I+WantSeraph XIIIhttp://m.everything2.com/user/Seraph+XIII2017-03-12T08:19:58Z2017-03-12T08:19:58Z<p>It's a weird, weird feeling, knowing what you want after being lost so long. Sometimes what you want isn't what you need, dozens of <a href="/title/Lifetime+platitudes">Lifetime platitudes</a> will tell you as much. Sometimes though, what you want isn't what wants you right now. When this happens, you can move along, and many do. Other times though, you stick to the spot. In these times, you might have any of a huge variety of reasons for it. Sometimes it's a pure desire for what's in front of you, other times it's a perspective thing, relatively it's the best you've had. Other times still, it's a pure stubborn nature that over takes you, something that makes you say "<a href="/title/No%252C+you+move.">No, you move.</a>"</p>
<p>I spent a long time not quite sure what I wanted, in life, in people around me. In the end, maybe still don't know exactly what I want, and I know I can't quite word it well enough to satisfy myself. All I know is I'm <a href="/title/tired+of+moving%252C+tired+of+trying">tired of moving, tired of trying</a>, <a href="/title/tired">tired</a> of the bounty of other choices. I'm done with it. I'm sticking to this spot, and if everything<!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…Abysmal (review)http://m.everything2.com/user/Seraph+XIII/writeups/AbysmalSeraph XIIIhttp://m.everything2.com/user/Seraph+XIII2015-09-19T09:02:15Z2015-09-19T09:02:15Z<p align="right">Album: Abysmal<br>Artist: The Black Dahlia Murder<br>Genre: <a href="/title/Death+Metal">Death Metal</a>, Melodic Death Metal<br>Release Date: August 21, 2015<br>Publisher/Label: Metal Blade Records<br>Runtime: 37:08</p>
<p align="center">Track Listing</p>
<p align="center">1. Receipt - 4:02 6. The Fog - 3:50<br> 2. Vlad, Son of the Dragon - 2:56 7. Stygiophobic - 3:14 <br> 3. Abysmal - 3:41 8. Asylum - 3:38 <br> 4. Re-Faced - 3:50 9. The Advent - 3:42 <br> 5. Threat Level No. 3 - 3:46 10. That Cannot Die Which Eternally Is Dead - 4:29</p>
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<p><i><a href="/title/Abysmal">Abysmal</a></i> is the seventh album by Detroit, MI <a href="/title/melodic+death+metal">melodic death metal</a> band <a href="/title/The+Black+Dahlia+Murder">The Black Dahlia Murder</a>, released on September 18, 2015. The Black Dahlia Murder has been long known as one of, if not <em>the</em> most consistent <a href="/title/melodeath">melodeath</a><!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…monarchy (review)http://m.everything2.com/user/Seraph+XIII/writeups/monarchySeraph XIIIhttp://m.everything2.com/user/Seraph+XIII2015-09-13T06:39:14Z2015-09-13T06:39:14Z<p align="right">Album: Monarchy<br>Artist: Rivers of Nihil<br>Genre: Death Metal, Technical Death Metal<br>Release Date: August 21, 2015<br>Publisher: Metal Blade Records<br>Runtime: 49:27</p>
<p align="center">Track Listing</p>
<p align="center"> 1. Heirless - 2:24 6. Dehydrate - 4:00 <br> 2. Perpetual Growth Machine - 4:51 7. Monarchy - 5:43 <br> 3. Reign of Dreams - 3:16 8. Terrestria II: Thrive <br> 4. Sand Baptism - 4:49 9. Circles in the Sky - 6:27<br> 5. Ancestral, I - 4:33 10. Suntold - 7:23 </p>
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<p><i>Monarchy</i> is an album by Philadelphia, MA <a href="/title/Death+Metal">Death</a>/<a href="/title/Technical+Death+Metal">Technical Death Metal</a> band Rivers of Nihil, released by <a href="/title/Metal+Blade+Records">Metal Blade Records</a> in August 2015. This is Rivers of Nihil's second full length album, a follow up to 2013's <i>The Conscious Seed of Light</i>, which was pretty positively received<!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…April 15, 2014 (log)http://m.everything2.com/user/Seraph+XIII/writeups/April+15%252C+2014Seraph XIIIhttp://m.everything2.com/user/Seraph+XIII2014-04-16T01:10:52Z2014-04-16T01:10:52Z<p>Not sure why I'm even posting this, but that's why such things are hidden, right? I made a <a href="/title/mistake">mistake</a> today. Not a usual fuck up, that's rarely enough. I finally pushed someone away, for issues they had and my inability to deal with them. No contempt, it went as decently as these things can. It was only a few hours later that I realized the scale of my mistake. I've now pushed away the sole person who would listen to and help me to sort my demons. I can't go back though. Too late it feels like, and I know I had legitimate reasons for leaving, but I still wish it hadn't gone this way. <a href="/title/Sadist">Sadist</a>s and lovers of <a href="/title/schadenfreude">schadenfreude</a> take note, I'm in for a spiral, and it will undoubtedly start to show soon.</p>