Here's the stuff we found when you searched for ""Man, you won't believe what happened to me tonight," Dave declared, bursting into our dorm room, "but first I gotta go beat off!""

• He Has Left Us Alone But Shafts of Light Sometimes Grace the Corner of Our Rooms
• So says the preacher man, but... I don't go by what he says
• I a man sad, with a linux box, a slow internet connection and friends who can not see the love in me bursting to get out.
• Turning a dorm room into a room
• If I tell you, ye will not believe: And if I also ask you, ye will not answer me, nor let me go.
• I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
• Hot pursuit
• I know it's boring to go on about it, it bores me to sleep, but what the hell, why doesn't it fade
• Gotta go. My AI girlfriend is dumping me.
• So then I tried staring into the abyss, but it got distracted by a weasel and ditched me
• how to turn a dorm room into a swimming pool
• I gotta go right now. Someone is videotaping me in my spaceship.
• Of all the dorm rooms in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.
• show me a garden that's bursting into life
• I told her I could read her mind, but she didn't believe me. I could tell.
• Our obsessions almost killed me, but now here we are, talking like normal human beings
• Foolish man. You cannot turn me into a phantom because you are frightened.
• You beat it in me, that part of you/But I'm gonna split us back in two
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• The bastards got me but they won't get everybody
• Nah, these random encounters with beautiful strangers won't destroy me at all. But I guess I thought it'd be a good way to die at the time.
• I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
• the water can kill you, but the beer won’t
• Every programmer is incompetent but me.
• I could never draw but they made me an artist
• bitterly but gracefully finding the strength to let go of your failed relationships and move on with your emotionally damaged life
• I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you
• Man is but the imprint of his native landscape
• Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
• i want to show you that anything is possible. i wish you would believe me.
• I'm beginning to think that nothing I think or say makes sense to anyone but me
• Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
• dorm room sensory overload
• "This sandwich is great, but it could be better if it had tomatoes and also gave me super powers."
• They know me not by name, but numbers
• I note that she is pretty, but we are off into the city, my werewolf friend and I
• Usually, if you've seen one bald man in a robe, you've seen 'em all, but most of them aren't burning alive from the inside out
• curiosity killed the cat, but it never hurt me
• It's too bad she won't live. But then again, who does?
• The Tesla Coil made me cry, but I got a free lunch out of it.
• we are built to hold on, but the world is about letting go
• But I'm a good person! Yeah great you wanna help me with this or what?
• me mate dave (user)
• Adam really was the first man
• Mass Murder and Mutilation! But first, the weather with Weather-Wise Wally Whimple.
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• Naked Dude at the Door in a Snowstorm
• Oh, no. Look, you've gone and made me optimistic. I was before, but now it is showing.
• They blew up the world, but what really pisses me off
• Give me chastity and continency, but not yet
• We once played this same game, but with only our words
• The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves
• So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past
• For every rich man who tries to leave this world for a better one with his fancy tomb surrounded by mourners, there are many more who perish alone in the cold, forgotten by all but God.
• It will only make our insides burn until we are nothing but ash.
• She might not need me. But then again she might.
• love me less, but, love me for a long time...!
• I may be cold and calculating, but that doesn't make me a computer
• I swear I just came here for a sandwich, but do you remember me?
• there are people who are gone but wanted me to be happy
• Nobody for me but you
• you only live once, but your life echoes into eternity
• in this world there are no equals but some day you will surpass me
• Sir George West tries to go West but hits traffic
• Dorm room policies discriminate against heterosexual couples
• But what's stopping me from staring at the stars now?
• The First Man
• confide to me your first weird feeling of Tokyo
• Archived E2 FAQ: Read Me First: Getting Started on E2 (document)
• our first time
• dorm room
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can make me think I deserved it.
• I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
• You know to me she's but a fetish
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me
• It is not our noise at all, but we are lucky to be listening
• There but for the grace of God go I
• I love you but I have to let you go
• Perhaps pain will stop me where good sense and virtue have failed
• Into the Heart of the Whole :: Anderry Inne, But Not Out Again
• When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
• The Dancefloor is our Mother. Her heart beats at 125 BPM.
• Nowhere to go but down
• I don't go out of my way to believe in anything
• He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
• Eat me beat me lady
• The Firestone dealership was full to the brim with cars. But I reasoned I would need a boat, since my desire was to go to Ireland. Just then a harsh reminder surfaced; water is expensive in hell.
• I won't tell you the real reason why I hate you, but I'll tell you another which is just as good
• Ladies and gentlemen, I play piano, but god is in the house tonight.
• New York I Love You, But You're Bringing Me Down
• Yeah I can love my fellow man; but I'm damned if I'll love yours.
• But beauteous fields lie just before me
• Looking like a pirate is fun but only having one eye annoys me
• I might not believe in God, but I sure as hell believe in the power of prayer
• one was giving me the eye but nothing came of it
• but the only power i truly have is the strength to let it go
• but wherever i go i'll be looking for you
• In a room of jesters, a lone monk is obviously a buzzkill. But in a room of monks, it's a lone jester who's a buzzkill.
• There were a few moments you will not hear about, but they happened
• it made me sick but kept me warm
• The first beat down handed out in the Senate
• it won't kill you to breathe it in, but it may change you, years from now
• i always want to go back. but i don't know if it's time yet. i have some things i have to do.
• I don't know why but I always love episodes without words. like just something about them makes me feel calm or something..
• one kiss: bad for me, but i give in so easily. i'm weak.
• You don't know me, but someday you will
• Dave The Moon Man
• it'd break my heart but if i knew you got away it'd give me peace of mind till the day i die
• How to smoke weed in your dorm room
• college dorm men's room
• Dorm room safety tips
• I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
• On First Looking into Chapman's Homer
• Never be the first to let go
• Always standing on the edge, you forced me in heart first
• She handed me my first sharpened pencil.
• The Story of the First Old Man and the Hind
• I Love Them But They Don't Love Me
• Sad but true. Won't ever change. The end.
• go ahead and dream, go ahead believe that you are the chosen one
• except that church was Episcopal with an ongoing history of bursting into flames
• But seriously, a tragic thing happened down the street
• Maybe I'm naive but this type of website bugs me
• Our hearts were hard, but they were warm
• 'C' may be for cookie, but that's not good enough for me, dammit!
• Don't litter, but go ahead and throw your cigarette butt on the ground
• Bad Boys Rape Our Young Girls But Violet Gives Willingly
• They Shall Beat Their Plowshares Into Swords
• The monster stares back at me. I'm still young enough to believe that, with the right shoes, I can outrun it.
• Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
• They may take our car keys, but they'll never take our freedom
• I appreciate your concern for others, but I need to get all my ducks in a row first.
• I don't think I realized what I had gotten myself into, but it seemed like the potential for fun and insanity were there in equal parts
• I thought I had some great insight into human nature, but I didn't
• he touched me then, but I forgot to feel
• their eyes meet for the first time, but they saw each other's hearts
• He may be a son-of-a-bitch, but he is our son-of-a-bitch
• I would have tried, but Charlotte kept Charlotte in the world of Charlotte and she barely heard me
• Due to the Incompetence of our novice author, our heroine, cahla, finds herself in the wilds of Djibouti; there is no denouement in sight, but the moonlight is pretty.
• We kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves
• You say you love; but with a voice
• Things you don't want to hear (but will) when you get into bed with a girl
• A date idea, but not for the first date
• I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me
• But life is hard when the written word is your first language
• World, take care of me. You don't owe it to me, but I don't know any better.
• "Excuse me, but could you drop your large backpack somewhere else, please?" A (almost) christmas nodermeet in the East End
• I didn't read it but I want to get into the author's pants
• How Gudrun cast herself into the Sea, but was brought ashore again
• Girls possess me but they're never mine.
• I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• Nobody Knows It But Me
• Christians don't believe that "being good" gets anyone into Heaven
• We completely understand the public's concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population, but that is not our mission.
• We had no bait but our tongues
• but you should be right here, right next to me
• As Guan Yu would surrender to the Han, but not to Cao Cao, I will surrender to you, but not to your desire to control me.
• She's smarter than me but she's also more quiet, therefore she has no personality which makes me feel better
• And then they came for me, but the bridge would not ignite.
• The bastards hung me in the spring of '25, but I am still alive.
• your fake name is not for everyone but good enough for me
• The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.
• It wasn't so much a trip down memory lane as it was me carjacking someone's memorymobile and speeding off down the freeway, but I digress.
• I am afraid to write tonight, but I must.
• I used to like it, but it makes me sick to the stomach
• Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle!
• A Tall Tale You Won't Believe
• I'm happy but you don't like me
• Let me fall until I believe, you're more than the leaves
• before the internet when teen had REAL relationship the boy could look at the girl and judge the diameter of her thorax with his feelers and determine whether the mating ritual could commence but NO MORE. evil woman use her computer sorcery
• I may never be queen, but you will never break me
• If you don't believe me, I don't believe in you
• I like the city, but the city doesn't like me
• Sorry to eat and run, but I've got to go stop Lincoln from killing Hitler in his crib
• That man has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• you never thought this would happen to you, but it did
• I know that all the cannabis activists would like you to believe differently but

If you Log in you could create a ""Man, you won't believe what happened to me tonight," Dave declared, bursting into our dorm room, "but first I gotta go beat off!"" node. If you don't already have an account, you can register here.