The percentage break down of me right now. I spend so much time wondering about things and worrying that
I don't have much of a life outside of it. I want to change that, but it always feels like I'm on hold by something. Dental visits, weddings, trips out of town, bills, long hours at work.
If I can just get through this period, I say to myself in the car on my commute somewhere,
then the better part of living can begin.
I always seem to implement an idea for the far future, meaning 6 months or more ahead, and think about it dreamily. Now it's this notion to move back to Virginia. I'm sure it's not healthy to put a carrot on a pole and dangle it in front of myself like this so that it will make me walk the track to the finish line. But I've got so many other, more current carrots already set up, these events I've planned to distract myself into having more of a life. I'm on a roll.
I'm filling weekends, booking flights, thinking of what I need to pack and what each stop will provide for me, since they all provide something, even if it's just a trip down memory lane.
In the interim, it's drama, but I'm working to keep it at bay, save it until the weekend, compress it so that it isn't taking up as much space as it really is, like piling all the furniture I don't use in the spare room, then draping a sheet over the doorway so that I don't even see it anymore when I come home.