Saddam Hussein recently received a startling 100% of the vote in his "election" (where he was the only candidate). Finally we have found the perfect leader without a single flaw, he is loved by all his people. Let me illustrate this by example, and surely you will come to love Saddam as I do.

The Attack on Halabja
On Friday 17th March 1988 the village of Halabja was bombarded by Iraqi warplanes. The raid was over in minutes. Saddam Hussein used chemical weapons against his own people. A Kurd described the effects of a chemical attack on another village: “My brothers and my wife had blood and vomit running from their noses and their mouths. Their heads were tilted to one side. They were groaning. I couldn’t do much, just clean up the blood and vomit from their mouths and try in every way to make them breathe again. I did artificial respiration on them and then I gave them two injections each. I also rubbed creams on my wife and two brothers.” (From “Crimes Against Humanity” Iraqi National Congress.) Among the corpses at Halabja, children were found dead where they had been playing outside their homes. In places, streets were piled with corpses.

The Iraqi people have love for no other potential leaders, only Saddam:

The Iraqi Ba’ath Party
The Ba’ath Party is the only legal political party in Iraq. It pervades all aspects of Iraqi life. Membership, around 700,000, is necessary for self advancement and confers benefits from the regime.

He is just an all around nice guy:

Human Rights – individual testimony
“…I saw a friend of mine, al-Shaikh Nasser Taresh al-Sa’idi, naked. He was handcuffed and a piece of wood was placed between his elbows and his knees. Two ends of the wood were placed on two high chairs and al-Shaikh Nasser was being suspended like a chicken. This method of torture is known as al-Khaygania (a reference to a former security director known as al- Khaygani). An electric wire was attached to al-Shaikh Nasser’s penis and another one attached to one of his toes. He was asked if he could identify me and he said “this is al-Shaikh Yahya”. They took me to another room and then after about 10 minutes they stripped me of my clothes and a security officer said “the person you saw has confessed against you”. He said to me “You followers of Ayatollah al-Sadr have carried out acts harmful to the security of the country and have been distributing anti-government statements coming from abroad”. He asked if I have any contact with an Iraqi religious scholar based in Iran who has been signing these statements. I said “I do not have any contacts with him”… I was then left suspended in the same manner as al- Shaikh al-Sa’idi. My face was looking upward. They attached an electric wire on my penis and the other end of the wire is attached to an electric motor. One security man was hitting my feet with a cable. Electric shocks were applied every few minutes and were increased. I must have been suspended for more than an hour. I lost consciousness. They took me to another room and made me walk even though my feet were swollen from beating… They repeated this method a few times.” (Source: Amnesty International, testimony from an Iraqi theology student from Saddam City)

I would vote for him also if “Anyone found guilty of slandering the President has their tongue Removed”


Information from "Iraq's Weapons of Mass Destruction - The Assessment of the British Government" presented to the UN Security Council October of 2002.

Candidates Candidate:

Saddam Hussein (Ba'ath Party)

Grassroots Campaign Activity:
"Spontaneous demonstration" by Kalashnikov-waving supporters with heavy media coverage, banner-making parties in which supporters used their own blood to write the campaign slogan on enormous white banners, and the commission of even more sculptures of Hussein.

Electoral Process:
11 million voters will respond "Yes" or "No" to the question "Do you agree that Saddam should remain President?" under the watchful gaze of election officials. Voters write their names on their ballot papers.

The last election was seven years ago, at which time Hussein won 99.89 per cent of the votes cast.

History of the Iraqi Electoral Process:
The current Iraqi electoral process has British roots. In 1921, after the Middle East was reconfigured by the WWI victors, Britain rewarded its ally Hussein ibn Ali by installing his son Faisal (who would later a) become a big Grateful Dead fan and b) get assassinated by his nephew) on the Iraqi throne.

Sayyid Taleb, a popular opposition leader (slogan: "Iraq for the Iraqis") was invited for tea at the High Commissioner"s residence. When he arrived he was promptly arrested, and exiled to Ceylon. While it is conceivable that this was a miscommunication (Ceylon, tea, Ceylon is a kind of tea, etc.), it is likely not coincidental that other dissidents were safely detained behind bars during the election, at the conclusion of which Faisal scored 96%.

Update:
According to administration officials, all 11,445,638 of the eligible Iraqi voters cast "Yes" ballots on October 16, 2002.

"This is a unique manifestation of democracy which is superior to all other forms of democracies even in these countries which are besieging Iraq and trying to suffocate it," said official Izzat Ibrahim at a news conference in Baghdad. This was an apparent reference to the United States. In the weeks prior to the Iraqi election, the U.S. Congress attracted the wonderment of many by voting to give President George W. Bush unlimited fiat belli, a power more commonly associated with dictatorships, monarchies, and other oligarchic states.


http://www.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/meast/10/16/iraq.elections.ap/index.html
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,3-441828,00.html
Also, toalight requested that I edit the conclusion of this node because "Right now it reads like "they gave him fiat belli so now we're like fucking Sweden! And that's not what you mean." And so: just in case anyone was confused, I was not referring to the constitutional monarchy of Sweden, but the general concept of (unmediated) monarchy. Thank you.

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