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Me: God, do you exist?

God: Yes.

Me: Er, okay, I wasn't expecting that... Which God are you exactly?

God: The one that you believe in.

Me: Oh yeah. Why did you create the earth then?

God: Well, it's like me having children - I wanted to see a creation of mine grow and change.

Me: So the theory of evolution is untrue?

God: No, the only thing I did actually created was single celled organisms in the ocean, a long time ago.

Me: What, so your children were single celled organisms, and by chance we happened to evolve into humans?

God: No, I caused them to evolve in the way that they did. I wanted to see if people would believe in Me and evolution simultaneously.

Me: Wait a minute, you're saying the bible isn't a true account of what happened?

God: That's right. It was written by politicians.

Me: So Jesus isn't your son?

God: No, he was an ordinary man, with some ideas beyond his time.

Me: OK. So are humans your only creation?

God: Well, I have other projects, but they're beyond your comprehension.

Me: What a cop out! Um, I mean, sorry God, never mind. So where did you, the supreme being, come from?

God: I don't know.

Me: But I thought you knew everything...

God: I know everything about human reality, not everything about My reality.

Me: I see. Hey I just thought of something - maybe you're only part of my over-active imagination, and don't really exist at all...

[silence]

Me: Hello...? God? Hello?
Wow, that's a much better conversation than I got out of certain 'God' on AIM. Here follows a little snippet of what passed between me and the almighty.

Me: This is God?
6oD: \/\/|-|0 R U?
Me: I'm, ahh... DJuxtaposition. I write for Blackrage and I wear pants.
6oD: R |_| r33t?
Me: Um, no, I don't think so.
6oD: @63? 53xX?
Me: I'm a nineteen year old male. I enjoy playing video games and reading, swimming, and taking long walks, preferably through the park or some recreational area where I can see a good deal of greenery. I'm currently an undeclared major at my college, Tulane, and I don't have a whole lot of direction in life.
60D: R U |\/|oCk1|\|6 |\/|3?
Me: Well, no. I just wanted to ask you a question.
6oD: 3y3 \/\/1|_|_ |\|o+ @|\|5\/\/3r 5+|_|p1D q|_|35+iO|\|5 +|=|@+ |\/|oR+@|_5 |_1k3 yo|_| a5K o|= |\/|3 \/\/1+|=|o|_|+ prOO|= o|= |_|r |_oY@|_+y
Me Okay, I can't be objective about this anymore... You're like, 5 years old, right?
6oD: 3y3 @|\/| |\/|oR3 @|\|c13|\|+ @|\|d pO\/\/3r|=ul +|=|@|\| |_| c@|\| 1|\/|@61|\|3
Me: And halfway as incomprehensible...
6oD: |)o |\|o+ |\/|oCk |\/|3! 3y3 \/\/1|_|_ rOO+ |_|r |3oX!
Me: Oh, come on... You're on AOL for Christ's sake.
6oD: 3y3'|\/| r33+
Me: ...tarded
6oD: +|=|@+'5 1+. 1'|\/| |=|@XxOr1|\|6 |_|.
Me: Ooh, look at me, I'm scared.
6oD: \/\/|=|@+'5 |_|r p|=|o|\|3 #?

/me erupts into a fit of laughter...

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