Dear Hottie Who Stole My Washing Machine;

I realize that living in an apartment building, certain luxuries of home living are given up. Among these, as you obviously know, are the ability to have your own washer and dryer (without some serious remodeling of course). Because of this, all of the residents here are forced to share a set of two washers and two dryers. There is also the time issue. If we had our own washer and dryer we could do the laundry whenever the hell we wanted to, but as we are living in a pseudo-community we are forced to respect others, and only do the laundry from the hours of 8am to 10pm.

It is with these things in mind that is the heart of the matter... When I brought the laundry basket to the laundry room and found both machines used, I put the basket of laundry (whites) on the counter with the expectation that that was enough of an indication that I was next in line. In fact, when I returned later I discovered one of the machines had finished and replaced your washed clothes (darks) (including some very sexy little g-strings) with mine, leaving yours on the counter (as has been done between residents since before I moved in two years ago). I left my second load (darks) on the counter, next in line.

I returned later expecting that the second washer would be free, as your load would have finished and you would have left it for me, but alas, you hadn't. I was mildly dissapointed but I saw that the washer was in the spin cycle and expected it was soon be available.

The next time I came back you were there, talking to your peeps on your celly, and you completely ignored me. I'm glad you were a hottie though, as the mild fantasies I had taking your g-string panties out of the washer were mixed with dread that they belonged to some 80 year old grannie with a fetish for sexy undies. This time I found that the second washer was again full (how rude). My first load had finished so I swapped.

It seemed that you decided that your laundry was somehow more important than mine, and that because I was not sitting there waiting in the room for the machine to finish, that you could hop your stuff in front of mine. The next time we saw each other I even attempted to talk to you, if nothing more than a "hi." You didn't even respond, except for a delayed "huh?" This time you had jumped in front of me with the dryers, using both of them, oblivious to my wet laundry sitting there, obviously next in line.

So in conclusion, while you are a cute hottie, with a tight bod, glasses and blonde pigtails, you have no right to line jump the washers or the dryers. The next time I find your panties clothes waiting for the machines, and you not around, don't expect me to give you any slack.


Your neighbor, Arcterex.

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