Last night I took a bath at 6 and crashed to sleep at 6:30. At 9:00pm I woke up and turned the heat down. I said goodnight to my daughter, the dog, the cats, the bunny.
I lay in bed and thought about relationships and boundaries. I am wondering what I should do. What is best for me and the other person? I ask my unconscious to send me a dream, about the dangers, what do I need to be aware of? What should I watch out for, what traps or mistakes?
I slide into sleep like an unconscious body dropped into the ocean, no resistance going beneath the waves.
I am in an airport in the middle east. I am alone. It is a big airport, crowded, chaotic. I have a ticket, but I'm worried about it. There are lots of flights to major hubs, to cities in Europe and all over the world, but my ticket has a connecting flight. It is through a city that I have never heard of. It is not listed on the main flight boards. I wait in lines and try to ask, but the person checking passports just waves me away.
At last I've had it. I find a man at a desk and I corner him. "I have a ticket, but it doesn't seem to be to one of the connecting hubs. What country is this city in? Where is the gate? What size is the plane? Why am I routed through there? I want to know if this is a safe place for a woman to travel alone. What's the political situation? Is there a war going on or kidnappings?"
I don't even know the time. "It is 9:56." says the man. The plane leaves at 10:15. He does not want to answer any questions, tries to wave me towards the part of the airport where the smallest planes are taking off. I won't go. I am not getting on that plane until I know where it's going and whether I should or not. For just a moment, adventure pulls at me, exotic, unknown, but I have my kids at home, my family, my work. There is a difference between adventure and being a stupid tourist who walks in to an unknown and dangerous situation. I am going to ask questions until I get answers, I will go to the American Embassy if necessary, someone will be able to tell me where that plane is going.
And I wake up, determined still.
My question has been answered. Don't take off without a clear picture of the destination, stay grounded, don't go off in flights of fancy or anything else. There are no trustworthy men in the dream: I have to stay on the ground until I find someone I can trust. Don't go off into the exotic unknown. Ask questions. How clever of my unconscious to use international travel as a symbol for boundaries and for being clear about them. I don't want to be caught up in a fool's venture.