Alphabetti
Spaghetti is a originally a
Heinz product; a foodstuff that has been described as "overcooked tinned
pasta in
tomato sauce shaped like letters of the alphabet" - and formed the basis of my childhood
diet. I used to spend hours making
rude words and sentences out of alphabetti spaghetti...much to the
disgust of my
Mom. Do you think
illiterate people still get the full effect of alphabetti spaghetti? Hmm.
It's been rumoured that Heinz marketted a
German variant before and during
World War II which only contained mini
swastikas.
This rumour is not true (confirmed by Heinz).
Extract from
Red Dwarf; "
Polymorph" (season 3):
Rimmer: You've just had my mum!?
Rimmer's mom: Five times! He was like a
wild stallion!
Kryten: "Very prim, very proper, almost
austere!"
Holly: Don't fall for it, Arn - it's trying to make you angry!
Rimmer's mom: Darling, I wish you could have seen him in action. He was like a set of pistons in an ocean liner engine room.
Rimmer: I think I'm going to be sick.
Holly: Don't get angry! That's what it wants!
Rimmer: Lister and mother... It's a dream come true.
Rimmer's mom: He's so energetic! I honestly thought my
false teeth were going to fall out.
Rimmer: How lovely.
Rimmer's mom: The positions he bent me into!
Rimmer: Terrific. That sounds
enchanting. Well done.
Rimmer's mom: And the things this boy can do with Alphabetti Spaghetti!
Holly: Cool it, Arnie!
Rimmer: ALPHABETTI SPAGHETTI!!!