Alternate lyrics for "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"

I said I would eventually write it up; at the time I nodeshelled this I was in the middle of a Bible-noding spree, and it just didn't sit right. I've recovered, so here goes:

Rudolph the well-hung reindeer
had a great enormous cock
all he could ever do with it
was beat it off inside a sock

All of the female reindeer
had pussies that were just too small
poor old well-hung Rudolph
could not get any sex at all

Then one horny Christmas Eve
Santa came to say:
"Rudolph with your cock so strong,
Fuck my asshole all night long"

Then how the reindeer loved him
And a few of them were heard to say:
"Rudolph the well-hung reindeer,
You're sure lucky that Santa's gay!"

My brother invented this lyric at a very young age:

Randolph the Green-Nosed Tuna Fish

Randolph the green-nosed tuna fish
Had a very slimy nose
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it's gross!

All of the other tuna fish
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Randolph
Join in any tuna fish games.

Then one soggy Fishmas Eve
Swordfish came to say
Randolph with your nose so green
Won't you guide my submarine?

Then all the tuna fish loved him
And they shouted out Whoopee!
Randolph the green-nosed tuna fish
You'll go down in fish story!

I read this one in a book a long time ago. I can hardly remember anything about the book, but these lyrics stuck with me. If anyone knows what book it was, or if I got any of the lines wrong, please /msg me.

Randolph the red-nosed cowboy
Had a very shiny gun
And if you ever saw it
You would turn around and run

All of the other cowboys
Used to run away from him
They never let poor Randolph
Sit with them to drink some gin

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
The Sheriff came to say
"Randolph with your gun so bright
Won't you shoot my wife tonight?"

Then how the cowboys loved him
As they shouted out with glee
"Randolph the red-nosed cowboy
You'll go down in history!"