Dear Mr. Man, or perhaps Mr. Boogey,
I would like to think that we are
friends, or at least associates. Our
working relationship of "scarer/scaree" concluded many years ago, largely because of my advancing age and less
elastic view of reality. It was a
natural process, which I am sure you have endured countless times during your existence as a
faceless concept of horror. I fondly remember our time together and the many late nights I spent cowering in
terror while watching my closet. Send my regards to your colleague "
Monster under the Bed". What I would like to discuss today is a delicate personal matter, one which I feel should be addressed in the interests of all involved. I thank you in
advance for your consideration.
I'm not sure what my rights are
vis-à-vis our previous contract, but in the interest of maintaining our personal relationship, I wonder if we could establish some new
ground rules. The problem that we face now is one of changing
roles. I find myself in the
new role of
father, and I make this
entreaty on behalf of my newborn child. Far be it from me to try to
dictate how you would do your job, but I have a small
request. Could you see your way to maybe
scaling down your campaign of nighttime horror a small bit? I was thinking maybe you could
divy up the work a bit more evenly with the "Monster under the Bed" or even "the Thing in the Drain". I only ask because of the excellent
work you did on me. Really, after a few years of staring into your forbidding
closet home, I forgot about all other
phantasms. You were the
Cardinal Fear of my childhood, and I applaud you for that. I am just looking for a more
robust experience for my daughter, with a bit more
variety.
I apologise for the lack of
closet doors in her room. That was partly because of a structural
limitation in the room we chose for her, and partly an
homage to your mark on my
psyche. Kudos.
I understand it is a
hard time for a fictional horror these days - cutesy movies, books, etc... fables just don't
garner the respect they used to. I feel terror is an important building block in a healthy developing
mind. Today's children live with
stress, perhaps moreso than previous generations, but I fear that they do not know true primal
terror, and are worse off for it. Nightmares of
nuclear war and
mysterious entities lurking just out of sight made me aware of the scope and variety of life in a unique way, and I feel I am
better for it. Let's work together to bridge this gap between the old and the new. Superstitions and fears for the next
generation!
On a personal note, I just wanted to thank you for being such a creative
nemesis. Your commitment to new and exciting hiding spots and night noises was truly a pleasure to endure, in retrospect. Experimenting with hiding in the
dryer in the
basement inspired many flights up the stairs during my youth, no doubt strengthening my growing
cardiovascular system, and the visitation you made while I was deep in a dangerous
fever inspired me to scream out with such intensity as to alert my parents to my condition. The memory of your
blank voidlike star filled form haunts me to this day, and I am forever grateful.
I look forward to working with you again, and I appreciate your consideration in this matter.
Terrifiedly yours,
allseeingeye
for the I Will Show You Fear in a Handful of Text: The 2005 Halloween Horrorquest - Happy Halloween!