i will change my name and move to
morocco.
i will carefully alter my
schedule to throw off their clocks.
i will place
copyrights on all of my sentences and watch from on high.
i will water my plants in
winter and cover them in spring.
i will
interrogate myself mercilessly until i am broken.
i will call the
psychic hotlines and hang up, furious.
i will hang myself from the town hall belfry (at
dawn, of course).
i will sit in the
bathtub, naked, and pray for rain.
i will write the
president that i'm fine now, thanks for asking.
i will unplug all my
appliances and listen to my neighbors from the living room.
i will
cover mine eyes so that i cannot be seen.
i will write
nonsense and philosophy so that they will think me cleared.
i will invent new words for
freedom and pass out pamphlets.
i will ascend into
heaven (three days too late).
i will line my windows with
mirrors--let them look!
i will talk to myself, but only in
third person formal.
i will tour the
concentration camps and take furtive, scribbled notes.
i will turn in
resume' with two-weeks notices stapled to the back.
i will underline all the adjectives in the
new testament.
i will leave copies of
gerontion conspicuously around my house.
i will go back in time and do
everything exactly the same.
i will publish all of my sins
chronologically.
i will hire a team of detectives to watch me closely for
treason.
i will have them watched.
i will
speak only when spoken to.
i will
spit it out,
and having spit it out,
i will be silent.
I will be silent.