I think nearly everyone in America (or at least 51% of us) agrees that George W. Bush is a really bad president, and quite possibly the worst president ever. I think we all agreed on that before he even took office. Obviously, Dubya likes to kill people, just look at how many people he executed when he was the governor of Texas. Not to mention the whole War on Terror thingy. Bush would like to force his view on the rest of the world and won't stop until the planet is dominated by the United States bringing the One World Government prophesied in the book of Revelation. He hates the environment. And he wants to take all our rights away and keep women from removing those pesky fetuses from their bodies. The obvious solution to this problem is to blindly back any schmuck the Democrats happen to nominate to dethrone this bogus POTUS SOB.
So it's John Kerry then? He's the one I'm supposed to vote for? Just let me know and I'll punch his name come November. He isn't Bush; he has that going for him. But Kerry isn't exactly the liberal's champion either. Someone told me the President doesn't actually make laws. I'm not too sure how true that is, but I guess Senator Kerry helped get the USA PATRIOT Act passed and supported Dubya's War on Iraq. Kerry and his wife seem to support nation building and Globalization as well as Bush. But he did try to keep fetuses from having the same rights as us born humans so their mothers can keep killing them as much as they want. Also, back in the day, he was one of the first to speak out against the War in Vietnam, if you don't count all those hippies that protested while Kerry was in Vietnam killing people. So I guess John Kerry has killed people and takes their rights away and would like to enslave them under the New World Order, like Bush...but he isn't Bush...anyone but Bush 2004.
Except for Ralph Nader...because, well he's just too green for us. I mean really Ralph, how much safer do cars need to be anyways? And corporations are here to stay, buddy, like it or not. Yeah, Nader hasn't killed anyone and he's way into the environment and totally against Globalization, but doesn't he seem a little too good to be true? No honest red-blooded Democrat can vote for Nader; he's the Republican's H. Ross Perot. He'll end up splitting the vote which only helps Bush. For this he should be considered as a threat and dragged into the street and beaten until he concedes not to run. So anyone but Bush 2004...except Nader.
That's it, enough of this lesser of three evils bull shit, I'm voting Cthulhu for President. Cthulhu is one of the big-daddy-nasty Lovecraftian elder gods. Sure, if awoken he will probably reach havoc and mayhem and invite the Four Horsemen over for a state dinner and he probably won't do very good things for the environment but I hear he wants to lower taxes and balance the national debt.
But why vote for the lesser evil or the greater evil, I want to vote for the lesser greater evil. It will take an amendment to the Constitution but I say we should elect Saddam Hussein as President of the United States. It simply makes sense. It was Bush's fault the Butcher of Baghdad lost his job as ruler of Iraq. It only seems fitting Hussein be the one who takes Bush's job from him. He has 24 years of leadership experience. He is great at fixing elections. He likes to kill people. He really doesn't care about the environment but he most certainly will end the War on Iraq. And he would love to conquer the world and rule it with an iron fist. He is more than qualified to be President. I say amend the Constitution to allow foreign nationals to be President and nominate Saddam Hussein as the Democratic candidate. Oh shit, but then Arnie would run in 2008 and we don't want that happening...but really, anyone but Bush.
I might be wrong about all this. I mean, in 2000 the Republicans basically wanted anyone but Gore and look what happened.