Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "As the Zombie Lieutenant was a piano afficionado. It was his favorite melee weapon."

• Johnny Clueless was there, with his Simulated Wood-Grain
• piano outside in the snow. and she was spinning
• I was floating in the ocean of his eyes.
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• His love was enormous; it cleared rooms that desperately wanted to be full.
• The cult leader poured himself a drink and started on about his plans, and I wondered how the priest was getting on
• When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
• He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
• unfortunately, his entire corpus was composed in English, and so has been lost to the ravages of time
• When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
• His ex-wife was so frigid, her clitoris was only the tip of the iceberg.
• My man was shot for his sheep coat
• but you had his eyes and that was sort of almost enough
• because his heart was heavy, closing, like a tired eyelid
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• His collection of substances that should not exist was stolen. The thieves then killed themselves 1000 times over.
• His version was better
• All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
• It Was a Lover and His Lass
• As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
• I was taken by a honeymoon scam
• It was a dark and stormy night
• Was (Not Was)
• Jerry Was a Race Car Driver
• There was a time when I was a better person
• It was not a dream
• The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
• I remember when it was me who made her skin flush
• i wonder if that was meant to console
• There was a rose that faded young
• Why I was convinced I would die young
• How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
• I was looking for you
• Nobody cares if it was originally a nodeshell
• Kilroy was here
• When I Was One-and-Twenty
• The train station was fucking freezing and
• Why I didn't get my driver's license until I was 18
• Jesus was Mexican
• People wouldn't fall in love so often if it were more clearly marked
• The last girl I dated was a vegetarian. We couldn't go anywhere and so it just didn't work out.
• Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
• Born with the gift of laughter, and a sense that the world was mad
• This wasn't how it was supposed to be
• This was unexpected, my soul's connection to you
• A poem I wrote when I was 5
• the seven hills of Rome
• I was once stranded on a dessert island
• Was Jesus resurrected as the Easter Bunny?
• "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
• No important data was harmed by the ILOVEYOU worm
• It wasn't like I was sleeping anyway
• The first iron-on transfer I made myself was controversial
• Concrete, Washington
• I was never any good at maths at school
• I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
• if music was a woman you would have a mistress
• So I was cold chillin on the corner on a hot summer's day
• I woke up and was an instant scribbling fiend. crazy, my poor feverish brain
• Last time I was in Chicago I broke my ass
• To Him the law is everything. Even today, lawyers are His favorites.
• Before I was consciously thinking of him, my body was
• Her name was Natalie
• Jesus was a black man
• What was left after the party
• I bought an orange, but it was a grapefruit
• Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few
• was
• wa
• "Oskee wee wee! Oskee wa wa!"
• my only pin-up was Pelé
• It was not a weather balloon at Roswell
• How Candide Was Obliged to Leave the Fair Cunegund and the Old Woman
• It was you, Atthis
• That time I was almost killed by scary cult children
• If Dr. Seuss Were a Tech Writer
• I was a young boy that had big plans
• Man was created in God's image
• Cybersex before it was cool
• Marilyn Monroe was a size 16
• It was all God's fault
• I was searching glass
• I was aghast, yet intrigued
• There was a young lady of Riga
• This product was tested on cute, furry animals with big, sad eyes
• You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up
• That was a joke, son.
• Robert E. Lee and his lieutenants
• I was into them after they were hip
• I was promised flying cars
• Once, everyone was a computer novice
• What was the question?
• Removed from humanity, I realized I was just another distraction
• Which of the Bewitched Dicks was gay?
• I was supposed to be somebody by the age of 23
• I was a homeless bum
• That Was Then, This is Now
• I woke up and thought it was Saturday
• being a kid was great
• I once was a clueless young noder
• Lando was supposed to die
• when you asked what I was writing, this is what it was
• The Princess who was Hidden Underground
• Leather-bound organizer
• There was this one great night at Alice's house,
• If I were watched alone, I'd be considered insane
• Is And Is Not As It Was
• Conrad's dirigible was tipping
• The highlight of my night was two girls kissing
• Imagine if your microwave was intelligent
• The real reason pi was never calculated to a high precision in ancient times
• I remember when it was me who made her toilet flush
• I'm glad the evil overlord was on my team
• if music were a woman
• It was more than perfect understanding
• That Was The Week That Was
• In the Beginning was the Command Line
• Why Socrates was really executed
• WoOz: 17 How the Balloon Was Launched
• What would aliens think of us if Everything was all they had?
• Why was Cthulhu blue?
• The Walrus was Paul
• Descartes was wrong
• No shit, there I was
• Vancouver, Washington
• Here lies one whose name was writ in water
• I was expecting it to hurt like a fuck
• What I wrote when I was missing David
• Able was I, ere I saw Elba
• Climbing cherry trees when I was younger
• Trompe
• And the sky was made of amethysts
• The cactus that told me my mom was asleep
• Music was better in the old days
• There was once a Man
• When I was your age
• I was once a victim of Catholic schooling
• Fast-talking career gal who thought she was one of the boys
• I was discovered by scientists, what will they call me?
• The day I realized what being alive was
• Theories as to what was inside the briefcase in Pulp Fiction
• The world was designed for giant squid
• If the King's English was good enough for Jesus
• Was not cleanly unmounted, check forced
• It was hormones, it was hormones, but it was valid
• I was going to marry Marty
• hodgepodge was just a one-night stand, apparently
• God was created in man's image
• Where were you when Kennedy was shot?
• When that cow would walk it was like she was dancing
• I Hear it was Charged Against Me
• Back when grunge was still cool
• Dawn was a lucky time to give birth
• The Story of the Vizier Who Was Punished
• Upon my indulgence, I was dissatisfied
• I was once stranded on a desert island
• Was I nearly as anti-consumerism as I had initially thought?
• Just how perfect was Jesus?
• 'T was
• So I turned round and there was an inflatable man sat at the table
• I'll tell you what kind of guy I was
• I died for Beauty -- but was scarce
• How was your trip to London, Dan?
• I wonder when I learned to smile when I was being hurt
• Oxygen was the world's first pollutant
• They wrote it all in perl but it was mostly system calls
• Calvin Coolidge was the 30th President
• As I Was Going to St Ives
• The Story of the Envious Man and of Him Who Was Envied
• drop a piano on his head

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