display | more...

The video begins with a human male in an Andarian Technician Uniform. He sits at a desk.

To someone off screen, he says, "Why am I doing this again?"

A voice responds, "It is important to document the growing relations between Humans, Andarians, and the rest of the universe!"

"But I already do video logs--"

"Those are technical logs monitored by our superiors. This is for the people! People want to know what humans are like, and it is our duty to share--"

"Okay, I get it. Is it on?"

"Is the light on?"


"Then yes."

"Oh! Uh. Hi, everyone. This is Greg. Gregory Namanarra, from Earth. And, uh. I'm a human. Ask me anything."

"Our first question comes from Chireeeet'tchs'tchs from Tangalore. 'Are humans edible, and what do they taste like.'"


"That is the question, Human Greg."

Greg looks directly into the camera with a stern expression. "Humans are entirely inedible. We are incredibly toxic and foul tasting. Next question?"

"Next is from Smilsplish from Aquax-090: do humans find non-human characteristics attractive? Specifically, how do you feel about tentacles?"

"Oh God."

"Please answer the question, Human Greg."

"I-- Okay. Some humans are into them, I'm not. And since there's nothing sapient on Earth that has tentacles, it's kinda taboo. Also, I just remembered, I have to do something. One more, then I gotta go."

"But we just started!"

"Sorry. Save them and we'll answer them next video."

"Fine. 'Human Greg, how can humans reproduce if they do not lay eggs, clone, or bud?'"

"Fluid exchanges. Okay, I'm out. Bye!"

He hastily gets up and goes. An Andarian male in a Technician uniform is in the shot briefly fiddling with the camera, and then the screen goes blank.


Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.