blotto

Flat on the floor, laughing at everything, gee she's pretty, I don't want to go home, how much for another pint, hey there's a dart board, my god I think i might puke drunk.

A member of the underworld. "Sure, Legs was blotto; got his lump (large sum of money) and wrapped up (quit criminal activities)."

- american underworld dictionary - 1950

Novelty band out of Albany, New York, famous in the early '80s for the songs "I Wanna Be a Lifeguard" and "(I'm Turning Into a Heavy) Metal Head." Blotto was a favorite of early, early MTV -- we’re talking 1981, the Martha Quinn era, when they actually showed music videos

Band members were: Broadway Blotto (songwriting, singing, guitar), Sergeant Blotto (lead vocals), Bowtie Blotto (guitar, vocals), Cheese Blotto (bass) and Lee Harvey Blotto (drums). They combined the skinny-tie look with a likeable goofiness; you could tell this was not the guys' day job. Their first EP, Hello! My Name Is Blotto, What's Yours? was released on their own Blotto record label and featured near-illegible liner notes typed on the cover -- all capitals, courier font, no spaces -- describing the band's formation and introducing some of the local musicians who helped them out.

Their playing was actually good, although Lee Harvey left a bit to be desired, IMHO. The music was brisk, tight guitar pop with well executed harmony vocals, but most of the songs are more amusing than laugh-out-loud funny like their two hits were.

Broadway Blotto apparently was close with Donald "Buck Dharma" Roeser, lead guitarist for Blue Oyster Cult. Buck contributed some tasty guitar solo work to "Metal Head." Also, Broadway and Buck shared a writing credit for the song "Dragon Lady" on BOC’s album Revolution by Night.

Blotto discography, partly taken from the Trouser Press Record Guide, fourth edition:

• Hello! My Name Is Blotto, What's Yours? EP (Blotto, 1980)
• Across and Down EP (Blotto, 1980)
• Combo Akimbo full-length album (Blotto, 1982)
• I Wanna Be a Lifeguard full-length album combining the above three discs (Performance, 1987)
• Collected Works CD retrospective of their career (One-Way, 1994'ish)

The CD booklet to Collected Works has a shrunken picture of the Hello! album cover, the one with the near-illegible liner notes. It's a real eye chart.