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The Battle of Thirvely was the last battle fought for territory or rule in the archipelago of Aaborgistanylvania, a chain of islands that borders all of its Scandinavian neighbors. The battle was called "The Battle of Thirvely" not because it was fought on the thirteenth island in the chain (which it was), and was fought in the 13th century (which it was), but because it was fought over the usage of the Base-13 number system, which is used solely in Aaborgistanylvanian culture.

The battle was actually fought in the 1400s, but the number 14 is usually referred to as "Thirvely-Twels", literally, "The Second Thirteen" in Aaborgistanylvanian. It was this counting system that caused the invasion, because a bishop of nearby Sweden, upon hearing that the missionaries to the islands had to translate all of the miracles and statements of the bible into the weird and odd base-13 number system, felt that the people were still unrepentant in their acceptance of paganism. This especially caused some confusion because certain numbers are translated with similar terms: for example, "thirvely-twel" could mean "thirteen second", or "thirteen times two", or sometimes improperly "thirteen and twelve". Thus, Jesus spent "thirvely-twel and thirvely-twel days stumbling in the fog" (26 and 14 days in the wilderness). The Bishop of Sweden sent a couple of boatloads of well armed missionaries to point out the fine points of theology to the people of Aaborgistanylvania, and after a week or so of navigating, their boat finally came to rest on one of the islands.

The soldiers were quick to get up on the "dry" land, and raced across the island, eager for conquest. Before long, they found a resident of the island, and after questioning him if there was any fire on the island at all, questioned him about theological niceties. Fortunately, the man they ran into was the one man on the island that could speak good Latin: the Rabbi Christian Christianson, the famed leader of Aaborgistanylvania's small Jewish community. He assured them in good Latin that the tales they had of Aaborgistanylvania's recalcitrance in accepting civilized numbers was exaggerated, and told them he would have a good fire going in a nearby village in a minute or so.

The Rabbi rushed back to the village and told everyone to to switch around their liturgical instruments as soon as possible so that their village would meet the standards of the approaching missionaries. The villlage people all practiced saying "not even close to Thirvely apostles" instead of "almost Thirvely apostles", to signify that they were thinking in terms of twelve, not thirteen. The good Rabbi, who was having a busy day, hoped that that would be convincing enough. Only one man refused the orders, Yngve, who thought that the counting by thirteens was a sign of God's special favor on the people of Aaborgistanylvania. He rushed out in the fog, screaming his war cries, and quickly tripped and fell over a ledge into a bed of carnivorous lichen. The Missionaries came to the village, and were too busy trying to dry their clothes over two small candles to notice too closely what the people were saying. They left just as quickly as they could, and the islands were returned to peace.

There were certain outcomes of the battle. First, Yngve was pulled out of the patch of lichen in a day or two, covered with many small, shallow bite marks and was made an honorary martyr for his defense of the faith. He became St. Yngve, the patron saint of the nation. Secondly, the Jews and Roman Catholics of the islands would remember the act of trust, and live in brotherhood forever more. Third, the invasion would set an international precedent. Much like the Spratly Islands, the sovereignty of the islands is much debated amongst several nations, but unlike in the Spratly chain, the nations all claim that OTHER nations have claims to the island. It is maintained by Denmark that the invasion means that Sweden won the islands by right of conquest. Sweden, however, maintains that the conquest was actually under the auspices of the church, and thus of the Holy Roman Empire, and that the islands are therefore the province of the last vestige of that empire: the small, landlocked nation of Liechtenstein. The World Court refused to hear the case.

This was also the last military action to happen in the chain of Aaborgistanylvania until the accidental sinking of one of the islands by a Sargent in the Danish Navy late in the last century.

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