Beer as a vital part of my flu recovery program

Beer exists in the mythical and worshipped region of my cognitive space. I am not alone. Many others do also hold the humble beer in reverance. They, along with myself, consume beer not only for it's intoxicating side-affects, but also for it's taste and above all its magical qualities.

It was for these reasons that I decided to incorporate beer into my flu recovery program. I had no doubts beer would aid my recovery. I am now in the fifth week of my flu. Luckily the beer has prevented my cold from getting worse. I now live in a steady flu-like holding pattern with beer by my side to ensure I do not slip into that abyss of greater flu-like symptoms, like death or missing limbs.

I live in fear that one day the beer will run out. Cease to exist. I think we live in a time of a great beer revival, with many more beers than we have ever seen before. Beers from lost continents, Beers of all colours, Beers of all tastes to delight the palate.

Without beer there would be no love. If there was no beer people would say "Where is the love?". I don't need to add that we would also have a lot more flus and epidemics. I know I have been saved by beer. God praise the beer

Ick, ick, ick, ickety ick. This is a bad idea.

Drinking beer while I had the flu resulted in the only time I was hauled away in an ambulance.

It was back in my college days. I had had a pretty bad case of the flu, but I decided to go to the bar with my friends in the weekly night you could get your quart glass refilled for $1.50. I managed two that night. 3.2% beer, mind you.

Later, after going to bed, and getting up in the night to pay the rent on the beer I'd drunk, I fainted dead away right in front of the night depository. Shrugging it off, I got up and got about halfway back to my dorm room and fainted again. I got into the room and yes, away I went.

Not having a roommate at the time, I called down to the desk and asked them to get an ambulance (this was before 911, and my thought processes weren't operating with the greatest of efficiency).

Well, the paramedics came, and did their normal paramedic stuff. While I was standing up, they couldn't find a pulse, so they popped a saline IV in me and hauled me away down to the campus hospital.

By the time I got down there, the IV had done its job and the doctor pronounced me healthy as a horse, but a bit dehydrated. The flu had dehydrated me severely and the alcohol had only dehydrated me more. So he prescribed drinking a lot of Cokes for the next couple of days.