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Try to think about blinking and breathing. Come on, do it. Seriously, don't just read this, but actually do what it says.

No, Really. Think about it. Think about blinking and breathing.

Welcome to my hell.

Now you're totally fucking screwed, because now that you're thinking about this crap you have just taken the reigns of your involuntary bodily functions.

You're not blinking normally anymore, you're either blinking too much or too little. You're conscious of your eyelids, and god damn it, you really wish you weren't because you really don't need to be thinking about this right now.

You've been alive your whole life and you don't know how to blink properly. What a worthless human you are! How long have you had to practice this?

The same is the case with breathing. Now that you're thinking about it, you don't even know what to do. You're just estimating how you normally breathe when you're not paying attention, and I might add that you're not really doing a very good job of it. You have had your whole life to figure this out and you still haven't done it. You could be falling behind on breathing right now and then you're going to take an extra big sigh-like breath to make up for it. You don't even know how much air you need to survive, how do you expect to ever accomplish anything if you haven't even mastered this most basic of bodily functions. What the hell is wrong with you?

You're lucky this doesn't happen when you think about your heart, real lucky.

Might as well just go commit suicide now and get it over with. That is, if you can even do that right. I doubt it.

This is the mental dialog I have with myself every time the subject comes up.

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