Back in the 1970s, when a family went on a vacation in a car, there would be many roadside attractions. Perhaps you will recall South of the Border or one of those such places. Some had live animals and you drove your car through there and they got on your car and shit on it. And you had no recourse. There were few regulations for these sorts of things.

Hi, I'm Dr. Peter Swilling, possessed and discredited psychiatrist.

One of the most disturbing, if not the most disturbing, of the roadside attractions my family went to was called Bob and Fred's Sexual Frenzy. Now, I was a teenager at the time, but my brother HumBarney was merely five years old. From any reasonable standpoint, why were my parents taking my brother and me to something called "Bob and Fred's Sexual Frenzy?" There is no reason for it, but these were the 1970s, when everything was perfect for everyone is every way and so no one questioned these things.

You bought a ticket and you were passed through a gate in a wall made of wooden logs surrounding a large red barn. All the tourists are herded into the barn and the doors are bolted and locked.

Bob and Fred were apparently elderly farmers. They were stripped naked and dosed with acid and a primitive form of Viagra, greased up with lard, and let loose inside the barn. All the people inside had some kind of experience. Many were changed by that experience.

We were able to get rid of roadside attractions like these through the power of federal regulation. We need to remember that. The world is more complex than you think it is.

And yes, this place was closed down. And no, HumBarney is still institutionalized.

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