These are them...those moves that make you smack your forehead and go,
"DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING LEARN?!?!?!" whenever you see them. Yes, I KNOW
wrestling is fixed
and all, but you'd think they'd
stop doing the same tired spots after a while.
And off we go (in no particular order)...
1) Putting your head down for a back body drop after whipping your
opponent to the ropes.
Cripes, does this EVER work? I've seen it work maybe TWICE in the past
ten years. It's a decent move when it hits,
sure, but every single other time the opponent will stop short and
kick you in the face. It's just not worth it.
2) Arguing with the referee in tag team matches.
Yes, distracting the referee while your teammate is getting the tar
beaten out of him is always the smartest course of action.
3) Standing on the ring apron if you're not involved in the match.
Here's a hint: YOU ALWAYS GET KNOCKED OFF! Most times that an outsider
successfully interferes, they're on the floor and hook a leg. When they
climb up to the canvas, they're in trouble.
4) When making your way back into the ring, putting your hands on
the ropes so your opponent can flip you in.
You've seen it a million times. After getting tossed out of the ring,
a wrestler will make it back up to the apron and put his hands on the top
rope. At this point, his opponent will walk up to the ropes and pull them
towards himself, flipping the guy on the outside into the ring. The burning
question remains: WHY DOESN"T THE GUY ON THE OUTSIDE JUST LET GO???
5) After whipping your opponent into the ropes, go for a right hook.
I know it's SUPPOSED to be an attempted clothesline, but every time
it misses--where the opponent ducks under it--it looks like a hook. And
since I've never seen a wrestler actually LAND a hook punch when his opponent
is coming off the ropes, it's valid.
6) Climbing over the top of the cage instead of just using the damn
This applies to the WWF cage matches where you had to either climb
the cage or walk out the door (usually after waiting for the referee to
unlock it) to win the match. In what universe is climbing an eight foot
ring faster than walking through a door? I can only remember one or two
cage matches which actually ended by walking through the door. This segues nicely
7) Wrestling a cage match.
Okay, the second guy has just entered the cage. The bell rings. Why
doesn't he just turn around and go back through the door while his opponent
is waiting on the other side of the ring? Sure, it'd be a cheap move, but
can you think of a better way for a heel to get GREAT heat without the
8) Taunting/acknowledging fans duing a wrestling match.
I mean, come ON. Wrestlers must have the shortest attention spans
in the universe if they can't keep their focus on their opponent through
a 20 minute match. You'd think they'd learn that the other wrestler ALWAYS
RECOVERS AND GETS THE ADVANTAGE after doing this.
9) Challenging Hulk Hogan to a match in the 1980s.
Did these guys have a death wish? Never mind that Hogan was supposed
to be the best wrestler (ha!) of the time, he got every damn break as well.
I can't even count the number of times he cheated during a match in full
view of the referee, who wouldn't stop the match until the other guy did
the same thing.
10) Going to the top rope in a Royal Rumble.
Anyone know if anyone EVER successfully landed a move from the top rope
without being knocked down and eliminated?
11) Going for a pin during a Royal Rumble.
See: Savage, Randy, Royal Rumble '93. That reminds
me, Savage did hit the Big Elbow on Yokozuna in the endgame of the '93
Rumble, so alter #10 to read "when there were more than two people in the
12) Trusting anyone during a Royal Rumble.
You WILL be turned on, or your money back.
13) Trying to pin someone via a Sunset Flip.
I can't remember one single time--not one--that this has worked. Most
of the time you just get kicked in the face after two.
14) Offering your hand to your opponent during a match in a show
If it works, yay. If not, you get kicked in the stomach. Real nice tradeoff
15) Trying to powerbomb Billy Kidman.
He always reverses it into a facebuster. EVERY TIME! Stop
16. Accepting your opponent's challenge to a test of strength.
Why bother? The other guy just kicks you in the gut after two