Captain's Log -- Stardate {ERROR:NO TIME SYNC}
Stardate doesn't matter, Starfleet is getting absorbed into the Borg collective. I have no intention of getting back into my Locutus of Borg persona, so I have directed the Enterprise to head towards the forbidden planet Jolani VII. The only other starship that's visited is a ghost from the past, the original Enterprise captained by James T. Kirk.
There is a gateway through time, a living portal called the Guardian of Forever, down on the planet. After Mr. Data had cracked the encryption, Riker and I read the top secret report from Ambassador Spock, although he was only Mr. Spock at the time. This gateway allows individuals to pass through to the past or future. I've decided that we will go through the portal and bring back the one individual who can save us from the Borg.
Captain's Log -- Stardate {ERROR:NO TIME SYNC} Supplemental
We've retrieved the individual and replaced him with Mr. Data after Beverly and Geordi have changed his outward appearance. According to the Guardian of Forever, we have two weeks to switch them back without timeline changes. Mr. Data has orders to act like this individual until after the two weeks expire. After that, he's on his own.
Captain's Log -- Stardate {ERROR:NO TIME SYNC} Supplemental
We arrived just in time as the Borg fleet dropped out of warp around Earth. I filled in EarthGov and Starfleet of my plan, and they've given me approval.
Captain's Log -- Stardate {ERROR:NO TIME SYNC}
The Borg have requested we send out our leader, so we've sent one from our past. One of our most infamous, the famous negotiator Donald J. Trump, former President of a country in North America.
Captain's Log -- Stardate {ERROR:NO TIME SYNC} Supplemental
The Borg fell for my plan. They've added "TheDonald" to the collective. All of the drones are arguing how large their hands are or how their idea is the best idea, biggest and best, hugely the best by far. Every Borg cube has warped out to claim the best locations to build hotels on other planets. The ones left behind are now some of the most famous infomercial salesmen on the video streams.
Captain's Log -- Stardate 45894.2
Oh, crap. Mr. Data was found in a Jeffries Tube, disassembled. I don't know who we sent to Earth in the past through the Guardian of Forever, but we're on our way there to retrieve the imposter. Hopefully things don't change in this timeli...^$^(*@^@%$##$%
Captain's Log -- Stardate 45894.2
Captain Riker, also known as Unit 4564221159805 reporting. The last human has been replaced with an android based on our deity, Lor. We are transferring the knowledge of Picard to a new android shell. He will be the new Warlord of Lor. All hail Lor!