Brian says - Everything2.com

Brian is my co-worker and sits at the same desk. He used to be a bomb-disposal officer with the British Army in Northern Ireland and got both of his legs and his external genitalia blown off in a booby-trap bomb. Brian is another hero of the type we meet every day.

Brian says...

that a wheelchair is the most comfortable form of seating ever devised
that writing COBOL is God's punishment for having cheated on his ex-wife
that kids are the best thing in this life
that he could take me in a fight any day of the week
that the word disabled is a pretty euphamism for cripple and he'd rather tell the truth
that life as a castrato is almost better. "I only want to enjoy my job, see my kids from time to time and drink my Guinness. The rest doesn't matter anymore.
that the best thing about pissing through a tube is that it doesn't stand up in the morning
that the Irish are God's people. "They're as big a bunch of useless bastards as He is"
that the worst thing in the world is to be a cripple with a fear of elevators
that most bombs are crap - "I've had louder farts"
that he doesn't want to blow up the terrorists who did this to him - "I'd just nail their feet to the fucking floor and see how they like it"
that only men with small penises wear neckties. "It's a big arrow, isn't it? Advertising is always a lie".
that the best thing about being in a wheelchair is that he can get pretty young women to make cups of tea for him
that the best thing about being asexual is that he no longer cares whether they do or not
that for him, at least, it's a wonderful life.

Shall I scare you with the truth? Or tell the pretty lie?	British Army	Greek and Roman Mythology	wheelchair
Family Guy	Mame	genitalia	Hero
Northern Ireland	COBOL