The other evening I was in the waiting room at brand website's corporate offices in downtown Pyongyang waiting to meet with some of the luminaries who work there. It was taking quite a while for me to get in to talk to management. They were giving me a ten-day rip for endorsing genocide on the site without prior authorization, so I turned to the pile of magazines on the coffee table in the brand website corporate office waiting room.

I noticed several copies of what was titled Broke Noder Magazine, which was apparently a "lifestyle" magazine for noders who aren't flush with cash at all times of the day. It was interesting, the idea that such awful people would call themselves noders when this is a rich man's game. So, I began flipping through and making notes in my little notepad that I carry around to look important because of.

It was filled with interesting tips for noders who are poor and shameful to their families. One of them was "Scrape at the bottom of the can the beans came in to see if there may be more beans. -nate."

Obviously, this isn't very challenging stuff. Any chimp with a car loan could figure that out. So, I kept reading and found more tips like "You can trade a child under five for three crack rocks and a six-pack of Meister Brau" and "Stealing cable from your neighbors is easier than ever."

There are full color photographs in the magazine. One that stood out to me was of an apparent noder wearing an old flannel shirt, tighty whities, and yellow rain boots holding up a sign that says "I don't like the gov'ment." I thought that was telling. This is apparently how some noders prefer to live.

There are recipes to help you make really cheap food, stuff on why eating meat is wrong written by misguided people, coloring pages, and some reviews of "favorite writeups." The back was the worst, where there were pages of personal ads with things like "No one likes me. Do you?" and "Unloved noder needs special caring treatment in the bed" Names and home phone numbers were listed. Pathetic. That was shameful stuff to look at, and at times it was painful, especially this standout, "My parents used my toothbrush when they stayed here over the holidays and I am freaking out."

I looked for subscription information and found none. Apparently it is only available for leafing through in the waiting room for the Pyongyang corporate headquarters for brand website.

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