CHICAGO (AP) A passer-by was shot at while witnessing the get-away of a gang of school bus thieves. The 35 year old Lincoln Park man, whose name is not yet being released, was apparently a witness to the successful theft of a Lincoln Park High School bus early this morning. According to other witnesses, the victim saw the group of men running out of the bus garage toward one of the large yellow school busses kept in the lot. For unexplained reasons, he began to laugh hysterically, witnesses said. The indignant thieves reportedly stopped, asked him why he was laughing, and when he was unable to answer (as he was doubled over with laughter), one of the men (described only as "the bald one") shot him.

The men then proceeded to enter and drive away one of the large yellow school busses. No one attempted to stop them. Due to a fire set in the bus garage's office complemented by the monstrous bureaucracy of the Chicago Public School System and the mysterious disappearance of several large yellow school busses over the last few years, police report it is unlikely that they would be able to put out an APB for the bus without bringing school transportation in the Chicago metro area to a standstill. Police are asking that citizens keep an eye out for a suspicious looking group of men in their early twenties, driving a school bus. Parents are advised to accompany their children as they wait for the school bus for the next several days.

Inside the bus garage, an overpowered security guard was found duct-taped to his desk with several donuts stuffed into his mouth. According to the security guard, two men burst into the office early this morning, overtook him as he attempted to flee and taped him down before taking several sets of keys and setting fire to the cardboard box containing bus garage records. According to the guard, these men had the appearance of hardened criminals and are armed and potentially dangerous.

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