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Is a staple of East Midlands cuisine and also somewhat further afield as well. I'm actually surprised it hasn't taken off further afield, as, along with the Meatball Marinara from Subway, chips & gravy (if you're from the North), or van kebabs (if you don't dare ask where the meat came from) it's brilliant post pub food. Or pre-pub food. Or just something to shove down your gullet when you want a big dose of carbohydrates all at once.

Here is how to produce it:

1. Take a cob. (That's a crusty bread roll, if you must know.)

2. Split it and insert a double handful of chips. (Chips are, for our colonial friends, like fries but thicker and less stringy.) Do not butter the cob or use a soft bread roll. A buttered roll with chips in is a chip butty and that's totally different.

3. Eat.

The problem with the chip cob, though, in my view, which doesn't put it in the same league as chips & gravy or suchlike, is that it's all very dry. Unless you are willing to slather it in mayo (ergh, in the words of Roland Deschain, "I'd prefer a sauce that didn't look quite so much like come, myself.") or vinegar (nice on chips, not nice on bread), or, if you will, Angry Cock or Heartbreaking Dawn's 1498 Cauteriser, then it kind of dessiccates you, so you end up wanting more beer, and then you need to have more chip cobs to soak it up, and then you end up paralytic and the size of an aircraft carrier.

However, if you want something that's not as fiddly as chips and gravy yet with all its convenience, why not coat your chip cob in gravy? The only downside of this is that by the end, the cob becomes a sodden brown mass, but who cares, get on the outside of it anyhow!

That's about it really. Bon appetit!

(IN1214/30)

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