The Church of the SubGenius is the perfect mystery religion in one sense: the people who join it are, by defintion, not fit to belong to it. The only real SubGenii are the people who do not actually sign up.

How can this be? Well, without trying to give away too much from the Book of the SubGenius, a SubGenius is characterized by slack. Slack is, more or less, the ability to get what you want without trying. People with slack can use it to get money, food, sex, whatever, from people who lack it. Of course, one must always beware false slack, the hollow sense of belonging and power that comes from expensive cars and country club memberships.

If you want to become an official member of the Church of the SubGenius, all you have to do is send $20 to the Rev. Ivan Stang. You will receive, in return, a packet of photocopied stuff costing about $3, including postage.

Get it? When you join the Church, you fork over $17 for...nothing--nothing, that is, except the ability to go around and say, "see, now I'm part of this group." Basically, you've just paid out for a version of a country club membership--a kind of false slack! You idiot--you're not a SubGenius at all--you're a pink or maybe even a bobbie!

Well, maybe not you personally. But remember, the only real SubGeniusis an unofficial SubGenius. Keep your money--and your slack--to yourself.

All correspondence with the Church of the sub genius is through a post office box in dallas.

After the church appeared for the first time, a "stamp out Bob" movement started that, for $20, send you a packet of information on the evil, mind altering, satan worshipping Cult of "Bob".

Its address was the exact same post office box.

This is the original Time Control program that has helped thousands to fear no longer the STARK FIST of REMOVAL.

Become PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE -- overnight!

Now you, too, can speak to benevolent aliens at the Alter of X-ist Contact. Learn Frame Straightening, Body Repair, Gripe Elaboration, FunKQu, Frenzy Techniques, Excremeditation, the Essentials of Survival and TIME CONTROL. Attend End O' The World Drills and Chance Labs. Learn to 'Tenlike. Evaluate the so-called "accidents" and "coincidences" in your timestream. Perform long, complicated rites of initiation and rituals of Communionication. Accullate yourself to the Church, where you will be isolated, given a new diet, a new set of habits, and an altered label and appearance. The new void in your bran-pan will be refilled with corrected info and subconsciously implanted ritual experiences. Follow your FOLLIES and COMPULSIONS and become rich like us.
Explore the "Zen" of stupidity! Channel chronic procrastination into life-saving paranoia and precise anatityl MAKE WASTE!!
Find out who your Personal Saviors may be and who are the False Prophets in your life!


"Bob's" promise is to widen the scope and nature of abnormal explore NEW WAYS of going over the edge and coming back. PLUS to bring back those who couldn't on their help you create the HIGHEST POSSIBLE EARNINGS from the PSYCHODYMANICS of ABNORMALITY... to turn Conspiracy-implanted personality disorders AROUND and channel them into an ILLUSION OF CREATIVITY that will fool normals and GET YOU SEX!

chug = C = Cinderella Book

Church of the SubGenius n.

A mutant offshoot of Discordianism launched in 1981 as a spoof of fundamentalist Christianity by the `Reverend' Ivan Stang, a brilliant satirist with a gift for promotion. Popular among hackers as a rich source of bizarre imagery and references such as "Bob" the divine drilling-equipment salesman, the Benevolent Space Xists, and the Stark Fist of Removal. Much SubGenius theory is concerned with the acquisition of the mystical substance or quality of slack. There is a home page at

--The Jargon File version 4.3.1, ed. ESR, autonoded by rescdsk.

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