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A quintessentially English foodstuff, cucumber sandwiches consist of a number of cucumber slices betwixt two platters of buttered bread, although margerine can be used instead.

For full effect, the sandwiches should be cut into 2x2 squares, with the crusts removed. There are more complex recipes involving salad cream and salt, but these miss the essential simplicity of bread, animal fat, and cucurbitaceae.

Cucumber sandwiches are typically imbided (imbued?) at garden parties, village fetes, weddings, race meetings, and anywhere the upper middle classes meet. They are also surprisingly tasty despite the fact that they are essentially sandwiches made out of water.

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