Here comes…
Dr. Tran!
Tran is the main character in a series of animated shorts produced by Lone Sausage Productions in 2006, created by Breehn Burns and Jason Johnson.
Tran, who is voiced by Johnson, is a small Asian boy, possibly Vietnamese though this is unclear, who for reasons beyond both his and the viewer’s understanding is apparently an international superstar. Announcers proclaim, to his protests, that he is a doctor, from America, and “A dashing secret agent with a PHD in Kicking Your ASS!”. This of course causes poor little Tran much aggravation at the horrible lies about his thrilling movies, merchandise line (including toys, and board games), and how the ladies love him.
”In fact, he will be down at your local record store, this Tuesdays, from 4 till 9, giving out the HOT DICKINGS!”
Tran tries his best to ignore the ramblings of the disembodied voice which claims he is America’s favorite commodity. But even he can’t escape his world gone mad when he discovers that he has suddenly been dressed up as a cowboy for no apparent reason.
The cartoons are mostly random bizarre occurrences that focus around Tran. He attempts to deal with the situations as best he can, but things always escalate and he is left screaming in terror.
There are currently seven cartoons, which are available on DVD, along with two other shorts called Beyond Grandpa, and are constantly floating around YouTube.
Here Comes Dr. Tran
The short that started it all, toured with the
Spike and Mike’s Festival of Animation, and appeared on
G4’s Late Night Peep Show.
This cartoon starts off as if it were a
movie trailer complete with
rating blip. Tran is just sitting at
home in his family
hut, eating his breakfast before
chores, when a dramatic announcer breaks the silence and proceeds to claim Tran is a doctor and a superstar in the international arena. Tran tries to correct the voice, but his pleas go unheard and the whole thing
degenerates into increasing insanity over the next seven minutes.
There is even a scene in which the audience is instructed to put on their
3D glasses. The scene consists of Tran in 3D looking confused for a few seconds, before the amazing spectacle of
cinematic technology is over.
Roybertito’s :60 Second Spot
This
commercial for a
Mexican restaurant, narrated in
Spanish, is very bizarre...and over 60 seconds.
It seems like a perfectly normal commercial, but the
food advertised, and the increasingly angry cook, makes the whole thing a little
scary (
especially when faces of customers start melting).
The only appearance of Tran is a cup of
chili with his image on, that he cries is burning his face.
Dr. Tran’s Quiet Log Time
This is the shortest, and
IMHO funniest of the cartoons which has Tran sitting on a log, roasting what appears to be a slice of
ham on a stick over a
camp fire. A
rooster walks up to Tran, and whispers in his ear, “I’m gonna kill you”. And as Tran runs away screaming the rooster chases him begging for forgiveness.
Dr. Tran Summer Splash
This cartoon starts off with a redheaded kid, and Leland, a kid with a
cough drop for a head, sitting in a
inflatable pool debating whether Tran is really an action star. Tran, who is apparently their
classmate, is on the other side of the pool denying all their misremembered claims “he’s got a
PDF in kicking your ass!”, and the existence of his toy line and truck decals. But it is difficult for him to explain why they are all sitting in a Dr. Tran Inflatable Pool which has his face plastered across the bottom.
Then the announcer comes on to tell everyone how they can win a Dr. Tran Inflatable Pool, several other bizarre items, and a trip for the whole family to ride the
Sub Zero Rape Coaster at
Six Figs Faggot Mansion Trill Park!
Dr. Tran’s Peanut Butter Square Hula Quest
This is a commercial mimicking old
Milton Bradley advertisements which has two boys who at first are amazed by the product, but as the game is explained further they become more and more reluctant to play.
Mr. Tran and the Toy Cack.
This is the longest of the shorts in which, Tran and Leland have been picked up from
daycare by Leland’s
grandmother. She has taken them out to get
ice-cream, and then proceeds to drive them to the
toy store. Along the way she says some odd things;
”Indecently Mr. Tran, never get raped by a domestic cat. You know why cats scream when they have sex? They have barbed penises that tear the vagina on the way out, and just ruin you for all the other cats.”
or…
”This reminds me of the time I took off my top and got killed by Greg Kinnear”
But she also accidentally runs over several little boys, splashing the
windshield with
blood, before they get to the children’s
hospital and starts
fish-tailing.
”Crippled orphans exploding on impact!”
All the while Tran and Leland are screaming and begging for her to stop.
Dickable Afternoons
This is another mock commercial in the thread of classic
Pepperidge Farm adverts. The announcer discusses Old Man Dr. Tran and his homemade dickables (whatever those are), while the screen shows the again
perplexed Tran interspliced with pictures of farms.
Sources: Dr. Tran cartoons and
http://www.lonesausage.com.
Edited with a little help from jessicaj.
Thanks to Whiskeydaemon for clearing up that "Tran" is a Vietnamese surname.