I haven't been very good at completing my Daily Evils on time (see to:
jessicapierce re: Daily Evil) but let me assure you I have committed many many
evils in my day - my day being 6th grade. My evils follow:
1. The first day of school there was another Katy in my class. Teacher Mrs.
Roberts said that because she had been at the school longer she got to be Katy
and I had to be Kathryn. I asked if she could be Katy H. and I be Katie
A. Mrs. Roberts said no. I seethed with rage and vowed revenge. Later that
day I noticed Mrs. Roberts was missing 3 fingers on her left hand. waited until
silent reading time and yelled out "what happened to your fingers?" as
innocently as I could. She said lawn mower accident.
Evil Rating: 3(of 10) - starting slow
2. Got in big trouble for not knowing times tables (even though we came from a
backward school district in the wilds of Wyoming). Had to stand in front of the
whole class and write them out ones through twelve's on the board and no one could
go out for recess till I was done. Other Katy mutters under her breath
"hurry, stupid". I seethed with rage and vowed revenge. When class finally was
excused for the last half of recess, I saw Gretchen drop a paper on her way out
the door. It was an excellent caricature of Mrs.. Roberts. I added (all but
three) fingers and the word "Stumpy" at the bottom. taped the paper on Mrs.
Robert's back. She didn't notice for a long time.
Evil Rating: 2(of 10) - I wish could draw
3. There was a new girl in our class from Africa. She
had an African name we could not pronounce. Mrs. Roberts told us to just call
her Sandy because she will move back to Africa at the end of the year. For three
days she sat on the steps and would not play at recess. On the fourth day I sat
with her and learned her real name which was Abeni. She showed me how to make a
funny face and write my name in her language. The kids called me NiggerLover. I
still wear the label with pride.
Evil Rating 3(of
10) - for not sitting with her for three whole days
4. Abeni's brother is in my little sister's third grade class with a very nice
teacher. Abeni's brother has diabetes and needs to eat a snack at 10am everyday.
Their parents sent the snack with Abeni so she would be sure he got
it. Mrs. Roberts said no one could leave for the recess because Dusty was
throwing spitballs. Abeni pleaded with Mrs. Roberts to let her go but Mrs. Roberts
said no. At lunch Abeni's brother had a diabetic seizure in the lunchroom
and everybody saw. Abeni was terrified. She put milk on his face and held
his head in her lap and he wet his pants. They never came to school again. I
decided Mrs. Roberts was not the boss of me anymore.
Evil Rating 0(of 10) - but just you wait...
5. My last name began with the letter A. I was first on the roll call. Every
morning when my name was called I decided whether I would stay and read my
library book, or leave and take a walk in the park or go visit my dad at the TV
station or whatever I wanted. Most times I would say "here" and get up and
leave. Mrs. Roberts couldn't do a thing.
Evil Rating: 3(of 10) for acting like a
6. One day I said "here" and got up to leave. Mrs. Roberts was ready for me.
"You are not going anywhere, Kathryn, unless you are sick" she said. "I am sick"
I replied. "No you're not." she said. "Yes I am." I said. "No you're not". "Yes
I am". She grabbed me with her stumpy finger hand. I had read somewhere or saw
in a CBS Afterschool Special that you could make yourself throw up if you put
your finger down your throat - you know what? It really works! I threw up all
over Mrs. Robert's pink polyester pants, floral blouse, and matching vest. I ate
eggs that morning for breakfast. She locked me in the coat closet until the
Rating: 8 (of 10) that's pretty much as bad as 6th graders used to get before
you all got revolvers for your 7th birthdays!
7. There was a kid named Wayne so I decided he would be my boyfriend.
At recess I chased him all the way into the library and he hid under a table. I
heard him breathing and looked there and said, "Waaaaaaayyyyyyyne, Isn't there
something you want to ask me?" "like what?" he replied. "Like do you want to go
steady?" "uh ok" he said "fine then, we are going steady. see you at the bus!"
2(of 10) I scared the crap outa that kid.
8. I broke up with Wayne at the bus.
Evil Rating: 9 (of 10) that kid is probably ruined
9. There is oh so much more... pulling Gretchen's hair, telling my mom I
would not eat spaghetti ever again, telling sparkleface that if you smell
poop you are actually tasting it... but those are the highlights.