Dear Natasha,
I was down with your
father again down by the
docks, and you never told me how fast a
runner he was. After that
boat got ahold of him, wow. We found a little
whiskey in his
pocket after that. Anyways, me and Uncle Jay were thinkg how much money we could make if we took all the stray dogs in
Long Beach down to the pound and turned em in.
So we got your father a little
woozy and got him into this dog costume I had in the back of my
gremlin. I used to work at Petsmart. And so we were luring dogs in to the trunk and then hitting them over the head with a piece of
shag glass. Some of em had
leashes and
tags but we took those off. Any ways most of em we couldn't fit in the back so we had to put em in
front, but we ran out of room there too so we left your father on a bench outside. He's a
big man he can take care of himself.
Anyways when we got all the dogs to the
pound most of the dogs had
fallen out of the car or died in the trunk so we had to
dump them back out to
sea. And it turns out they don't give you money for
catching dogs. So we went back to get your
father.
We found him in the
ladies restroom without any
clothes on and his
wallet was gone. So we let him sit in the
BACK of the car. I will see you this
weekend. Come visit me at the
hospital soon.
- Uncle Drew
Dear Natasha,
Uncle Jay has once again run a
muck with his car.
He broke his leg and is now in the hospital but he is ok
so don't worry. Those two, can't live
with em can't live
without em. I mean really, how many
dogs CAN you fit into
a car.
Anyways, you be good don't anger your
mother with
that
smart talkin i heard you use on me. No more of that.
And stay OUT of the
liqour cabinet, or else
santy won't
bring you no
presents. Love ya darlin'.
- Your
Aunty Carol