'Twas the night before Christmas
and over at Everything2
No noders in the Catbox
except lonely E2D2.
Rancid_Pickle in his speedo,
the Mrs. in a wrap,
had just settled down
to watch some Netflix crap.
When out on the Internet
there arose such a clatter.
I had to log in pronto
to see what was the matter.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear
but a pimped out '66 Caddy, rap music assaulting my ear.
With a hairy beast driving that I knew must be sick.
It was EDB steering while Klaproth handled the stick.
Cool Man Eddie was on the hood in red leather and furs
And thigh-high boots with glitter and spurs.
I knew then and there that something special was here
when they pulled into my driveway, all of them drinking beer.
Cool Man Eddie reached into a bag
filled with some cheap beer kegs
and pulled out a ching
plus a couple of Easter eggs.
Before I knew what had happened
I was gifted with 5GP
while the yolk dripped down
staining the speedo by my hee-hee.
He held up the ching
and said, "This one you earn."
and EDB pulled out of the driveway
while Klaproth's hand churned.
Eddie called out the cylinders
as they revved down the street.
The neighbors all waking
'cuz E2 ain't discrete.
"On one. On two. On three and four!
On five and six. Wait, ain't there two more?"
And I heard the voice of Klaproth, ere he drove to the next site,
"Ghastly Christmas to all, and please learn how to write."