'Twas the night before Christmas
and over at Everything2
No noders in the Catbox
except lonely E2D2.

Rancid_Pickle in his speedo,
the Mrs. in a wrap,
had just settled down
to watch some Netflix crap.

When out on the Internet
there arose such a clatter.
I had to log in pronto
to see what was the matter.

And what to my wondering eyes should appear
but a pimped out '66 Caddy, rap music assaulting my ear.
With a hairy beast driving that I knew must be sick.
It was EDB steering while Klaproth handled the stick.

Cool Man Eddie was on the hood in red leather and furs
And thigh-high boots with glitter and spurs.
I knew then and there that something special was here
when they pulled into my driveway, all of them drinking beer.

Cool Man Eddie reached into a bag
filled with some cheap beer kegs
and pulled out a ching
plus a couple of Easter eggs.

Before I knew what had happened
I was gifted with 5GP
while the yolk dripped down
staining the speedo by my hee-hee.

He held up the ching
and said, "This one you earn."
and EDB pulled out of the driveway
while Klaproth's hand churned.

Eddie called out the cylinders
as they revved down the street.
The neighbors all waking
'cuz E2 ain't discrete.

"On one. On two. On three and four!
On five and six. Wait, ain't there two more?"
And I heard the voice of Klaproth, ere he drove to the next site,
"Ghastly Christmas to all, and please learn how to write."

I have been defeated in battle before. I have been outmaneouvred, outflanked, outgunned. I have charged into the valley of death, willingly throwing myself at the cannons on a point of honour. I have surrendered the town and the castle to avoid paying the price of a protracted siege. I have broken line, heedless screaming Saxon, chasing fleeing Normans, only to find myself facing the full might of their reformed front and fallen with an arrow in my eye.

I have never, until today, watched the enemy retreat, and held my line, only to look about and see that my troops, spooked by incipient victory, are in full unglorious rout.

Well, it is Christmas Eve again, that time of year where we pay extra attention to women's nipples.

One of the things that happens during the holidays is the hardening of the nipples.

I have been spending some time in the Catskills performing some live readings of many of my award winning novels, writeups, and graphic novels for the Honeymoon set. Really a good time, and a nice break from Agent Mulder and the elves. He's been back in the elven dimension and I am sure he is enjoying some very satisfying nipples.

For the holidays I am having two broads in my room and they each have enormous nipples. I am talking about unnaturally large nipples, especially in comparison to the breast (mammary gland). Really something. Best way to spend the holidays, especially now that the liberals have shuttered all our malls and forced us to shop in crappy local businesses that need to be set on fire for the holidays if we must be honest.

And we must, else we bow down to the liberal intellegencia. As if.

I hope you have a nice Christmas praying to God.

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