Claire Kutchever, after an up and down 2 year relationship with ATF agent Doug Carlin, becomes increasingly obsessed with her past experiences, and starts learning everything there is to know about wormholes.

She ends up becoming an astro-physicist, and sooner or later comes across the geeks who built the miraculous time-folding machine. Sans government funding, they have resorted to cloak-and-dagger power thieving and whatever other means are at their disposal in order to feed their desire to continue fracking about with causality in their own light cone - God knows how they survived!

She fucks her way through the team in order to become the queen causality bitch of some timeline much like ours. Of course, during that whole 10 year journey, she's lost her faith, her respect for the US government, and her desire to have a relationship... Her crowning achievement will be to send herself back through time - to say, 1960 - to convert Jerry Bruckheimer to atheism, and thus save humanity.

Unfortunately, everything goes horribly wrong. The post wormhole resuscitation leaves her with permanent brain damage. Her already fragile emotional state explodes into a full blown personality crisis. She has a sex change, and takes on the name Don Simpson.

Eventually, she becomes Jerry Bruckheimer's roommate at the University of Arizona and whilst delving through his/her fractured memories/understanding of physics, they come up with the idea for Tom Cruise to fly upside down 2 meters above a MiG-28 while his copilot takes a polaroid (a nice little tie-in to the autopsy scene in Deja)...

Then there's is a twist: Denzel turns up in the timeline, aged 40-something, looking to buy their fledgling production company and turn it into a satellite surveillance empire which he will of course use to save humanity. He eventually figures out the Simpson/Kutchever connection, and it causes him to have a good long look at himself, and his life. He decides to transcend the space-time continuum once and for all, effectively becoming God.

He proceeds to create the universe (in the past), defying not only space and time, but gravity. Any shred of the timeline resembling our own has by this point become so polluted that it is a very confusing place to live. Cosmologists observe patternless and contradictory data, making it difficult to form sound conclusions. Ordinary people have become so confused that they have resorted to terrorism as an instigator for political change. Cops in this timeline are basically just bitter old bachelors with lots of hunches but no real method. Astro-pysicists and astrologers meet at conferences and sometimes even have relationships with each other because underneath all their differences, they are lonely.

And then there is Bruckheimer. His vindication is complete. He cuts through the confusion like a hot knife through butter, providing hope and happiness to the masses with sheer, beautifully produced glibness. Perhaps he will save humanity after all.

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