I never felt comfortable around
girls. I'm generally
shy by nature, and I have to really get to know people before I begin to feel comfortable with them. But with girls, I never really got to know them. We had different
interests, and I never put the effort into exploring their interests. I've never been a good
flirt. That's not entirely accurate. I've never even tried flirting - I've always been afraid to. The
girlfriends that I've had (and the
wife I have now) became such entirely through their own effort and in spite of my reluctance to break through my
fears and insecurities.
I was told that your life changes when you become a parent. Sure, there are the obvious things - changes to your social calendar, you start paying attention to recall lists, you see danger where you once saw a coffee table, etc.
But something real inside of me has changed as I've been with my daughter for the past two years. I see things in her, (like the way she gently touches my face when she wants my attention, or the way she hugs her teddy bear when she really feels love for him, or the way she rubs her eyes when she's sleepy) that I've seen in girls/ women of all ages throughout my life but never really appreciated. She prefers to sing songs and play dress up, rather than play catch with a ball. She'd rather have her stuffed animals kiss and hug, than have them blow each other up with a howitzer. She'd rather put a heart sticker on my cheek than give me a wedgie. She's nothing like I was as a kid, and she's absolutely perfect.
I'm no longer afraid of girls. I just wish I felt this way for the past 27 years.
Thank you Regan.