Findings:

• Don't leave the house or you'll be shot for deserting.
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• Want to be shot in the US or beaten in the UK?
• Look, I don't mean to be an asshole or anything, but...
• Don't ever lie. If you lie to your friends, they won't trust you, and you'll have nothing, and you'll never be safe.
• We don't swim in yer toilet, so don't fuck us over or you'll need 2 wheelchairs, fool: An Partie
• There was never supposed to be an Episode 7, 8, or 9
• Don't Be Evil
• I don't trust your seemingly innocent motives (this may be my last meal)
• if I can't be with you, then I'll write about you, or I'll write about something else
• The House of Blue Leaves
• You give me wings. Don't be surprised if I fly.
• Mother died today. Or maybe yesterday, I don’t know.
• Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool
• Why Descartes should be Resurrected and then Shot
• If a given feature can't be found in a Freeware application, you don't need it
• Don't be an IM phantom
• Or at least it used to be
• I don't see Heinlein writing books proposing that only farmers should be allowed to vote
• happy as a clam or a lark or as happy as Pacino can be
• I don't plan to be dismembered in the next three months
• panamaus does the Antipodes, or Get yer shorts on Sydney, there be a NoderParty!
• Don't be sad
• marry me and you'll be safe
• To women, to hide their teeth, if they be rotten or rusty
• To be or not to be
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• How to Build a House or Destroy a Home
• Dogs can be used for detecting mold in houses
• Don't trust Elves; they may want to be your friends
• I Don't Wanna Leave You On The Farm
• You don't have to be a vegetarian to like vegetarian food
• Don't Be An Ass (user)
• You can never be too rich or too thin
• don't be absurd (user)
• Don't let's be beastly to the Germans
• Your first relationship will be nuked: Don't give up
• I don't want to be a weeping mass of emotion, but I am
• hats should be turned around backwards or taken off
• It's not that we're more attractive in the darkness or that one of us may be drunk
• Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood
• I can never be sure if it was real or just another illusion
• Starving in the greenhouse
• or i may simply be a single drop of rain
• don't be afraid, it's only angels bowling
• Forget what you think you know about the opposite sex
• Act as if you are in a dream; be daring and don't apologize
• Billy, Don't Be a Hero
• this is why you always leave me, this is why you'll never go
• But I don't want to be Princess Leia!
• lost, or trying to be
• she's the reason the dust i finally leave will be better than the dust i came from
• if i'm right, you'll be here to read this any day now
• You must be 18 or older to enter
• The sad thing is, if you get her you'll be sick of her in a year
• We try to be friendly here. Those who are not friendly will be shot.
• Before long the Goddess Tiamat through hip-hop you'll be facing
• Rick Deckard, Blade Runner or unscrupulous bastard? You be the judge.
• You'll Be Back
• If you don't like it, leave
• Don't touch, check with other passengers, inform station staff or dial 999
• The largest number that can be described in 14 words or less
• I must die or be better
• A Dog Day, or the Angel in the House
• don't be a fool, it's nineteen-ninety-five, the girls are just friends
• America: love it, or leave it
• You are not Hunter S. Thompson. Don't be stupid.
• How to scare the Hell out of a Lexus driver, or: Don't take sharp corners at 50mph in the rain
• Don't Leave Before the Miracle
• A floor is so you don't fall in the hole your house is in
• Don't be sexist. Broads hate that.
• House of Leaves
• You'll be something special one day. And you -- you have to take care of your sister.
• I hate you, or why we cannot be friends
• House of Leaves vs The Cube
• since we became accelerated readers, we never leave the house
• What happens when you tell a girl you'll call and you don't
• Lame fuckwit who should be shot for wasting valuable bandwidth
• I don't use the gents or the ladies room
• Your first writeup will be nuked: Don't give up
• Be there or be square
• I don't know what you find to do all day on that thing. You'll go blind!
• Be a model or just look like one
• Why don't you just rip my heart out, it would be quicker and less painful
• the flecks of smoke and sparks don't conjure you back from the ground or heaven
• I don't want to be here when you don't call.
• I can only pray that, when I finally leave, I will have done little enough damage to be totally forgotten
• I know I'm not very good at this. I don't want to be better.
• I hate you. Please don't leave me.
• Don't be sexy. I said stop that.
• Don't be smart too, I couldn't stand it
• There'll be plenty of time later to leave things unsaid
• Don't want sex, be sexual
• ...or Not to Be: A Collection of Suicide Notes
• Don't worry, Be Happy!
• Where we're headed, you'll be looking backwards
• And if I don't die or worse I'm going to need a nap
• I don't know if these are good flowers or bad flowers, but I picked them for you
• A lot of houses don't even have anyone to board them up.
• House of Blue Leaves
• Love Me or Leave Me
• I don't want to be in love, just fuck me, ok?
• You don't always have to disagree, or agree for that matter
• Don't leave me alone
• When being chased by CIA trainees, don't mention Belgium to the waffle house physicist
• Ah, if you should turn out to be a fairy I don't think I'd put you in a jar
• You don't get to be a wizard by collecting bottlecaps
• Don't run from snipers, you'll just die tired
• The New Face of the BSOD: An Adventure in Password Recovery
• or maybe a calm voice, that accent you don't think you have
• Just eat a sucking candy, you'll be fine
• Don't be sad, I'll make you happy
• Pink lemonade, Clementine, I don't want to leave this place without you
• why I don't use Twitter or Facebook
• Don't be seduced by the taco bar
• Strange man makes permanent visit
• Be careful and don't fall down
• I don't always want you to be nice
• If poetry could describe the way you make me feel, poetry would be illegal. Or anyway I might get arrested.
• Next time don't drop acid and down a dozen shots right before the rehearsal dinner
• I can't be a scientist because I don't believe in God.
• Don't be afraid, you've just got your eyes closed
• Spend an hour with us and you'll never be the same
• I don't want to be successful
• She makes sniffing sounds, and I don't know if she's snorting coke or weeping
• I will REMOVE your "All your radical touching base are already occurred to the lesbian monkey puppy" philosophy on me if you don't eat my soy google balls, hatt-baby. Real or malarky?
• Why you don't deserve to be a professor
• Don't be a monkey. Let go of the banana.
• she can scream so loud you'll be looking for your ears on the floor
• I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
• I don't lose the irony that I believe my reflection to be a stranger
• Would you be more of a Jekyll or a Hyde?
• Don't shake it, bump it, or sniff it: The 2001 anthrax mail scare
• If the wibbly thing is part of your anatomy, I guarantee you don't want the cat batting at it or licking it.
• You don't leave anyone alone in a monkey knife fight
• If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution
• It has been claimed that some or all of this article or section is incoherent and not understandable, and should possibly be reworded if the intended meaning can be determined
• Leaves of three, let it be
• i don't spend a lot of time thinking about what it feels like to be gored by a chainsaw
• One of the dangers of necromancy is you don't really know who's on the other side or what they're going to give you in return.
• I'll be you and you'll be me
• Don't Be Afraid
• I don't want to be alone
• Who is more likely to be color-blind, men or women?
• you can only make me dizzy if you're spinning me in leaves or snowflakes
• Is it as it is to do or is it as it is to be?
• Mexico, or maybe farther. I don't know the details.
• I want to be a whale when I grow up. Or a squid.
• Don't want to be lonely no more
• Don't be a smartass and expect to be taken seriously
• If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
• Take it or leave it
• don't be a girl
• Don't leave
• House of Dust -- Part II -- II
• Jack Kerouac's Skull To Be Auctioned Off By Christie's
• Crap migrates to my house
• You touched me when I needed to be touched, and for that I will hold you in my heart forever
• The man of the house
• It will be in Georgia. It will be Taipei.
• Comstock House
• I Want to be a Hulkamaniac
• Pavlov's House
• House of Games
• Waiting for the show to be over. In oh-so-many ways.
• A Doll's House
• Boy, I was sure lucky to be born into the one true faith!
• Bugaboo Creek Steak House
• Tonight I'll Be Staying Here With You
• Matryona's House
• No one can be unhappy with a fresh box of crayons
• House of Canmore
• These trains will be the death of me yet
• The Sustainable House
• Knowledge can never be certain
• House of Wessex
• I used to be a carpenter
• Cromwell's House of Lords
• We can be heroes
• The clean spare Zen-like interiors of my imaginary house

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