Hi Everybody!
Hi Dr. Nick!

Dr. Nick Riviera (voiced by Hank Azaria), is the preeminent “general specialist credit doctor” in Springfield. His discount medical clinic (“As good as Dr. Hibbert!”) has been the savior of scores of desperate Springfieldians. If not for Dr. Nick and his discount operations (only $129.95 for any surgery!), who knows how many hard-working inhabitants of the lovely town of Springfield would be dead today? He is even generous enough to include free implant coupons in his advertisements. The numerous, hard-earned degrees what adorn his wall include Mayo Clinic Correspondence School, Club Med Diploma, Hollywood Upstairs Medical School, and Female Body Inspector.

However, his hard work doesn’t stop there. He has also served as an inventor, court expert, and even Mr. Burns’ personal longevity expert. His crazy concoctions frequently appear on “I can’t believe they invented it!” Some of his best-selling products include:

  • The Juice Loostener (“It’s Whisper Quiet!”)
  • Dr. Nick Riviera’s Gym (Steroids? What steroids?)
  • The first candy bar that actually straightens your teeth!
  • A “spiffy” twenty-first century stain remover.

Appearance Guide:

Episode 7F10: Bart Gets Hit by a Car: Dr Nick’s first appearance. In order to squeeze a couple million dollars out of Mr. Burns when Bart gets hit by his car, Lionel Hutz uses Dr. Nick to show the court how damaged Bart is.
Episode 7F13: Homer Vs. Lisa and the Eighth Commandment: Troy McClure introduces Dr. Nick Riviera and his new invention, a candy bar that actually straightens your teeth while you eat it on “I Can’t Believe They Invented it.” This episode features the first use of his famous “Hi Everybody!” phrase.
Episode 8F07: Saturdays of Thunder: Appears selling his new product “Spiffy,” a polish that works well enough to “make you believe Edgar Allen Poe’s body is still warm.”
Episode 9F09: Homer's Triple Bypass: With Homer’s life on the line and not enough money for Dr. Hibbert, where will he turn? To Dr. Nicks $129.95 operations, of course. Thanks to help from Lisa, the operation goes well.
Episode 9F20: So it's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show: As Mr. Burns' longevity expert, Dr. Nick instructs him to pull the plug on Homer, who is in a coma.
Episode 9F20: Marge in Chains: Dr. Nick again tries to sell one of his inventions, a painfully loud juicer.
Episode 2F32: 'Round Springfield: Dr. Nick saves the day by removing Bart’s appendix.
Episode 2F20: Who Shot Mr. Burns (Part Two): When Mr. Burns is shot, he arrives in Dr. Nick’s office.
Episode 3F05: King Size Homer: When Homer needs to gain more weight, where better to get advice than Dr. Nick’s office?
Episode 3F18: 22 Short Films About Springfield: This episode is Dr. Nick’s moment in the sun. Follow our favorite doctor as he tries to diagnose and heal Grandpa Simpson and deal with malpractice suits.
Episode 3F20: Much Apu About Nothing: Dr. Nick takes the immigration test (with the answers on his arm) along with Apu.
Episode 3F24: El Viaje Mysterioso de Nuestro Homer: Dr. Nick can be seen in a cowboy suit in the background of the chili cookoff.
Episode 4F03: The Homer They Fall: When Tatum and Homer have their boxing match, Dr. Nick, the ring doctor, urges them to kill each other.
Episode 4F13: My Sister, My Sitter: Lisa brings an unconscious Bart to Dr. Nick’s clinic when Dr. Hibbert is nowhere to be found.
Episode 5F01: The Cartridge Family: You can briefly see Dr. Hibbert strangling Dr. Nick during the soccer riot.
Episode 5F03: Bart Star: At the health fair, Dr. Nick runs his booth called “What’s your sex?”

Here are some of his more memorable quotes :

Lionel Hutz: "Mrs. Simpson, you're not a doctor, I'm not a doctor, the boy's not a doctor. The only person in this room that even comes close is this man."
Dr. Nick: "Stop...you're embarrassing me!"

"Your son is a very sick boy. Just look at these x-rays. You see that dark spot there? Whiplash. And this smudge here that looks like my fingerprint...no, that's trauma!"

"The coroner, I'm so sick of that guy. See you in the operating place!"

“Seriously baby, I can perscribe anything."

"Now, if something should go wrong, let's not get the law involved. One hand washes the other. Hey, that reminds me." (proceeds to wash hands)

"Eww, blood”

“The knee bone's connected to the...something. The something's connected to the...red thing. The red thing's connected to my...wrist watch. Uh oh."

"One, two, three...Out like a light. Oops, maybe if I fiddle with these knobs. Hey, I smell gas. Pleasant gas. Night night gas." (collapses)

"Okay...that was a little strange. When you were in that coma, did you feel your brain being damaged?"

"Holy smokes, you need booze!"

Man: "Among the 160 gravest charges are: performing major operations with a knife and fork from a seafood restaraunt."
Dr. Nick: "But I cleaned them with my napkin."
Man: "Misuse of cadavers."
Dr. Nick: "I get here earlier if I use the carpool lane."

"Sir, calm down, you're going to give yourself skin failure. The symptoms you describe lead me to believe that you are suffering from bonus eruptus, a rare disorder in which the skeleton tries to jump out of the skin. The only way to stop it is through transdental electromicide. I'll need a golf cart motor and a thousand volt capacimator, stat."

"Don't worry, you won't feel a thing....till I jam this down your throat!"

"The gloves came free with my toilet brush."

"Well if it isn't my good friend Mr. McGregg, with a leg for an arm, and arm for a leg."

"If you want to have an exclusive surgery with me, Dr. Nick Riviera, dial 1-800-DOCTORB. Note the extra B is for BARGAIN"

Nick: "Hi everybody!"
Homer and Bart: "Hi Doctor Nick!"
Nick: "Now there are many options available for dangerously underweighted individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology."
Homer: "Of course."
Nick: "You'll want to focus on the neglected food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group and the chocotastic!"
Homer: "What can I do to speed the whole thing up, Doctor?"
Nick: "Well...be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use poptarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon, ..."
Bart: "You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!"
Nick: "Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too? And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain.
Bye bye, everybody!"

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