Dream Log: August 10, 2001

I was heading at Ahvenisjärvi elementary school to play basketball. There were loads of other mates I've seen playing basketball in Finland or in Belfast. They were waiting for the hall to be freed.

I went inside as I saw some younger mates from Uusikaupunki through glassdoors. I knew Ana and Ville and they were with 5-6 young fellows I didn't know but they were wearing official vests and shorts of Uusikaupunki Sharks. As I went in I grinned and showed them the devil sign with my left hand. They responded in a lazy way as they always do. I chitchatted bit and asked who these younger guys were. They said they have moved to Tampere after they took their A-levels in Uusikaupunki highschool and they study nowadays at the technical university i.e. the same university where I am. They looked so young I couldn't believe they were 19yo and I wasn't sure if they were fooling me around.

After a while I went outside where I met some friends from Belfast and older plaeyrs of Pomppu, the university basketball team. I sat down on the brink of vent hole which, by the way, was huge and really interesting. I really wanted to crawl in but I didn't. However, I said something about the vent hole to a friend nearby but he moved away. I took it as a small insult and decided not to like this person too much but then people came out from the hall so it was free for us to go in.

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I met my dad at a parking lot next to Hervanta shopping centre. He was there with my younger brother and after a while of casual talk he asked me if I do dope. I lied I don't but it seemed like he knew something. He said: "Whatever, anyways, we are going to see it later on if your brains still work properly. Ya know the dope dilutes your brains. Look at Pekka Luoma (his my dad's colleaque) here: He was very, very bright young fellow but nowadays his somewhatta retarded because he did a pot from time to time. You wouldn't be like him, would you? Well, he still has some hobbies to keep him active and in this world but you wouldn't say he had gone forward on the path of self development." I murmured a half-assed reply that I've got great hobbies and good life and I'm not going to get stucked in amotivationalism.

My mum came and we departed the parking lot. Suddenly there was a small table next to my mum at the parking lot and there was a small box that included my joints on the table. I picked up the box and my mum took an odd glance at me but I acted cool and she didn't have a clue what was in the box.

We went to my grandpa's house (this is far, far away from Hervanta) and soon we went to sleep. I picked the bed in grandpa's room. It was a double bed and I thought grandpa was already sleeping there. Because he's actually dead, I was really scared for a while that I have to sleep next to a corpse and I could see his moulded body through the eyes of my soul. But for my great relief it was mum who had conquered more than 70% of the bed, sleeping restlessly. Furthermore, a middle brother wanted to sleep in this bed too but I kept my mind thus forcing him to choose another bed.

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There was the third dream too but I've confused it with reality and more conscious thoughts so I cannot tell a word about it.

You know the urban legend that says that if you die in a dream, you will really die and not wake up? Well, I think I died in my dream last night, and here I am, so...

The dream itself was interesting, so here it is. I will call it my X-Men Dream.

I was standing in a hospital with two other people, a man and a woman, who were my "team", and we were trying to convince one of the nurses, a blonde woman wearing scrubs that she was "one of us" and that she had to come with us and had to come with us quickly. She, of course, had no idea what we were talking about, and her supervisor, a heavy-set woman with dark hair was yelling at us, saying that we had to leave.

Suddenly, a man appeared. I don't really know where he came from, and his only distinguishing characteristics were that he was very pale and had light brown hair. He sprouted Wolverine-style metal claws and attacked one of the patients in the hospital. The blonde nurse went to catch the patient as he fell, and the Wolverine man stabbed straight through her chest with his claws and then ran off. My teammates chased him and managed to subdue him (I think with some sort of tranquilizer, but this is something I figured out once I woke up and thought about it.) but I stayed to watch the nurse.

The nurse had, at this point, realized that the patient was dead, but also saw that her own wounds had closed up and healed completely. After seeing this, she agreed to come with us.

The team leader insisted that we had to hurry to a certain location because "He will be coming again!" In my head, I somehow knew that this meant that the Wolverine man would appear, but it didn't really make sense, since we had just killed him. We drove to a grassy area and waited, and around midnight, the Wolverine man just appeard out of thin air, as if he had teleported there. This time, instead of killing him, we captured him and took him away.

At this point in my dream, I changed characters and became the Wolverine man.

I woke up in a white room that looked like a laboratory. I felt sluggish, as if I had been heavily drugged, but I heard the team leader say to another man, who looked like a doctor, "Well, I think we're finished with him. You know what to do."

At this point, the team left and the doctor had me breathe in some sort of gas that made me even more disoriented. I heard him tell a nurse to prepare the syringe, and I realized that they were going to kill me. I remember thinking that, even in my drugged state, I could probably still over-power them, but as the doctor came closer, I finally thought "Well, it's been so bad this time. I should just get it over with, and maybe next time will be better."

The doctor injected me with the poison, and everything began to grow darker and darker until....

I woke up... And there you have it. I died in my dream and nothing happened.

I just had my wisdom teeth removed, and the oral surgeon used a combination of nitrous oxide and IV sedation, so I understand where the whole combination of "breathe this in, now we will inject you with that and you will go to sleep" came from. As for the rest of it... Who knows?

The hypnotist asked me what it was, what that one, perfect happiest time was, and waited for my answer.

I thought back, trying to dig up memories of twenty-two years, comparing them to each other, trying to evaluate when I was most at peace, trying to distill that one perfect moment from my life.

And all I could think of were the days after I had just purchased my first piece of furniture, my bed, in the house the three of us were renting, before the fire:

Dinner at a trendy bar and grill, a food fight threatening to erupt between the three of us, as mashed potatoes and sugar packets get casually tossed at each other between giggles.

Lying in bed with her, laughing, her sweat still on my skin.

Smoking and drinking coffee at a rowdy café, watching grown men climb over themselves to contribute to the art on the walls with sharpie markers and blunt knives.

And then I had to leave, because I knew nothing else could compare.

I'm in a large house. It is reminiscent of the place that two of Jeeves's brothers were housesitting for part of last month, wherein I found myself crashing in for the better part of a week. Anyway. Big house, owned by an older couple. Devoid of life except for me. Then I I notice a sack of weed on a table. "Gee, where did that come from?" And then an impressionable young kid is nearby, wandering around and looking at stuff. I try to distract him/her from the illegal substance, when suddenly I see two cops patrolling the house. They see me, the impressionable kid, and the dope. Damn. A little later, I'm being confronted by some adult.

"Look at you. You had your whole life ahead of you, but now you're pushing drugs on kids and getting thrown in to jail. I can't believe how evil these drugs have made you."

"Neither I nor the drugs are to blame for any of this. The system is punishing me for exercising my God-given right to be in the same room as some plant. A handful of monkeys made some silly rules back in the 1930's about possessing marijuana, and now a couple other monkeys are allowed to jail me due to a combination of said rules and some erroneous assumption they immediately jumped to. Why aren't you listening to me? I can't believe how stupid the government and all it's laws and lies have made you"