Dream Log: December 10, 2000

I was back at my parents' house in Florida. There were two brown cows in the back yard. Apparently, these were internet cows, and actually plugged directly into a network. One of them was upset about its internet access for some reason, and walked down to the water retention. At first, my brother's Altima was parked down there, and the cow started pushing it with its head. I looked at the car again, and it was an old Ford something.

I got a very long network cable, and put one of my hubs just outside the screen door to the pool area. I plugged it in using the outlet on the side of the house. (I had to put the power cable under the doormat, so people wouldn't trip. The power cable was a lot longer in my dream than reality.) I remember thinking to myself that it would be a good idea to put the hub in a ziplock bag, and then poke and tape holes on the sides for the cables. I never got around to it.

We eventually coaxed the cow back into the yard. Whether we got it hooked back up to the internet, I don't know. Time shifted into another dream that I can't really remember.

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Noder's Note: The retention is basically a tremendous grassy hole in the ground spanning about twelve half-acre lots long, and 8 or 9 wide. Sometimes it contains a little bit of water. If it rains for a week, we'd have a lake. Cars shouldn't be down there to begin with.

I bought a case of beer, and somehow my brother found out and decided to tell on me. He went and told my dad and he didn't say anything for a while. Then I was on my computer at about 2am and he comes into my room and tells me not to let it happen again. The next day I'm outside, and my brother calls me in. My mom says she has some serious buisiness to discuss with me. I assume it has to do with the beer. She says "Brian tells me that you were planning something." I go "what?" She says masturbation. I start laughing and I retort with:

"Suuure mom, let me just mark my calendar for the big day. I think I'll beat off the first monday, then the second tuesday, then I'll have to figure out the times. I think at about midnight will be okay, how about you?"

After this she thought Brian was being absurd and let me go.

Then I was in Philadelphia with my school. Apparently as part of an experiment, people from four other countries were visiting all the other four people's countries. One of the guys was distinctly Middle Eastern and one seemed British or maybe Australian. Some problem happened, but it wasn't important enough to call the whole thing off.

Then it was our turn to go to a foreign country. The airport was really weird, it was like Vet Stadium where you had to keep climbing up and up, to get to your "loading dock." Matt and I kept passing Feng as we walked, and we finally got to the top. Then it turned out that the loading dock was somewhere else, but it didn't matter because it had sank into the ground. Eventually we met up with Mike and Ramsey and got to the right place. Someone shouted:

"Are you ready for a world full of 3G/GRPS/WAP/SMS!"

Matt drops his cell phone in a trash can and they're handing out GSM bumper stickers. They read "GSM 1800: Technology first, legislation tomorrow" or something in an attempt to get the FCC to open the 1800Mhz band for mobile phone use. Just as we were boarding the plane, a loud banging noise entered my mind. Awake.

Perhaps not one of the stranger dreams I’ve had, but this one is weird because I remember it so distinctly.

An old friend of mine and a fellow alumnus of USF approached me about an art exhibit featuring his work on campus. This despite the fact that 1) he is not and never has been an artist and 2) he graduated about five years ago. The exhibit featured only one work of art: a waist high stack of plastic cups on a small plastic stool-sized table. They were stacked upside down and the words “Urban” and “Sprawl” in bright lowercase red and green letters were on the top two cups, though the last word was the only one visible. That was the name of the exhibit: “Urban Sprawl”.

He approached me because he wanted me to write an article about the exhibit. A significant part of the dream was me actually composing the article in my sleep. Unfortunately, I don’t remember the full text, but there was a choice sentence that went something like this: “When one views the exhibit ‘Urban Sprawl’, one feels cheated, not because the exhibit is solely a single stack of plastic cups, but that only one work of art is on display from such a promising talent.”

If someone could tell me what all this nonsense actually means, I’d be grateful.

Thank you for reading my first dream log.

I was in my parents basement. They had cases and cases of tinned sauces. The hollandaise had a white paper label with a yellowish oval on it. There was an 'oriental stir fry sauce' it was in a blue tin, much of the writing was thai or something. It certainly wasn't Chinese. The last item on the ingrediants list was 5 Dead Men. There was a third sauce, but I can't remember what it was. I think it was just gravy.

This has to be one of the strangest dreams i have EVER had.

It starts off with me driving home from school, its a nice hot summer evening, and i have had a really good day. Anyway i am suddenly attracted to a light comming from some distance away, for some reason this light gets brighter and brighter. as i drive more closely to it i notice a faint rummbleing, after a couple of miles my car breaks down, nothing works or anything i do to start it does not work, then suddenly i am knocked out.

The next thing i know is that its mid morning the next day and my head hurts like hell, i get up and get rid of the dust that covers my body. i look at the sky and to my horror i see that there are two moons in the sky!! and whats more its daylight, one of the moons is a blood red and the other is just like the normal moon (thinking about it it might of been the normal moon)

. I get in my car and i sigh in relief as i hear the starter motor start the car. I drive off in a hurry thinking what the hell is going on.I get home and rush into my parents house, i call but no one answers, i check around all the rooms in the house but no one is there. i walk outside and look around, i cant see anything so i go to my nans who live 2 doors away, i knock but again no one answers. I then realize that there is no cars going down the once busy road.

I get in my car a drive off towards my local town taking note that there is no one around at all, i reach the centre and i finally realize that there is no one here..... at all.

I then travel the country looking for people and there is no one, not a single sole in the entire country. and one night i slowly drift to sleep and the next thing i wake up to the sound of my mom shouting at me to get up

weird............

For some reason I was walking down a sidewalk near a church at night. I was walking a little faster than the two men in front of me, so I soon came within earshot. They were discussing some heinous deed, and without looking one said "We now you're back there, Earl," (my name's not Earl). I followed a little while longer, and then decided to go back.

After a while I heard one of the guys say that "This has got to be the most dubious deed of our lives." I looked around, and saw them chasing me. I tried to run but I couldn't go faster than a slow walk. I experienced this before in dreams: if you try to run, you trip after about two steps. I decided to go indoors.

The nearest place looked like a hotel or apartment building, so I went in. I told the receptionist "Two men are chasing me, can I have asylum?" She immediately turned around and started to dial on a wierd rotary telephone. Suddenly I noticed my friend close by. I don't know if the receptionist turned into him, or if he appeared out of nowhere. We talked for a while, but then the dream ended.

I had dreams involving various sea monsters.

• I am in a resort town with my family and some friends of my parents. We drive to an outdoor pool owned by our hosts. We are to clean it up, then swim in it. The pool is kind of a cross between a kidney shape and an hourglass shape, and very deep. It is completely infested with algae across the top and down the sides. I get in a small plastic boat and float out into the pool with a pool cleaner.

  As I lean over the side, I notice something moving down in the pool. I take a closer look, and see that it is a huge fish. It is shaped vaguely like a large carp, but it is about 8 feet long, and a solid red color. I don't think it's going to eat me, but I row the boat to the side of the pool and get out quickly. As I continue to scoop out algae, I can see that there are two or three of these huge fish swimming around in the pool. I wonder how they got there, and how they can sustain themselves...they don't look like the kind of fish that my parent's friends would introduce to such a small pool.

  As this part of the dream ends, I am talking to a mermaid that also lives in the pool.

• Now I am in a State Park, next to a lake. The area near the lake has been developed to support visiting families on day trips: grass has been planted, picnic tables and fire pits have been placed at tasteful distances around the area, and playground equipment has also been set up. Lots of people are having picnics, and children are playing on the equipment.

  There are huge snakes swimming around in the water. The water is clear, and you can see them swim by, about 20 feet out from the shore in shallow water. They swim by undulating their bodies in a slow squiggle. There are two types of snakes. One type looks exactly like a Burmese Python: A yellowish body covered with large brown splotches. It is about 15 feet long. The other type looks more like a Ball Python. It is also about 15 feet long. This confuses me, since that size is much too large for a Ball Python, neither snake is indigenous to the area I am in, and neither snake is primarily a water snake. However, every time I see a splotched yellow snake swim by, I am sure that it is a Burmese.

  Out near the center of the lake, one of the snakes, this one well over 20 feet long, launches itself out of the water and undulates along it. I think it is some sort of mating ritual. It looks very much like the old pictures of sea serpents that are seen in storybooks. The guidebook I have with me claims that tales of sea serpents were inspired by these snakes. I think that is bullshit: This park is located in the middle of the New World, and besides, these are freshwater snakes.

  As I was writing this, it occurred to me that this was based on a true experience. I did go to a lake in a state park about 6 years ago, and while I was there I did see a (smallish) snake swim by in the water.

That is all I remember. No, I did not discover that I had wet the bed when I wake up.

Cringe. I have never done the terrible things I did in this dream. It's not for the sqeamish.

I was a home care provider. I encountered the old man I was to care for, his teenage daughter, and an Asian woman who was some sort of intermediary. We entered an elevator, going down. All the time I was speaking to the old man and the daughter in a patronizing tone of voice, as if they were infants, because for some reason I thought they were retarded. When we exited the elevator, I finally asked the daughter, "Are you retarded?" She said, "No, but sometimes people assume we are."

The old man was in a wheelchair, and was sleeping. He could just as easily have been comatose, or dead- I never saw him move or breathe. I took his wheelchair and brought him home- to my mom's house, where I no longer live. Then I forgot about him. It was terrible. I didn't do didley-sqat for this poor old man. I just left him in his wheelchair for the night.

In the morning, it occured to me that I should take the old man to the bathroom. He was soaked in urine. So I wheeled him into the bathroom. Then I forgot about him again. I went to another bathroom to take a shower. But I was so spaced out, I couldn't focus on that task either. I got my shampoo and stuff but then I moved on to something else.

For whatever reason, I was angry at my little sister (she's 10). I really wanted to hurt her. So did my brother (14). So we gave her his murderous toy, ala "Chucky". First it was a panda bear. We brought it into my sister's room, we told her we were giving her a present. She was so happy to get it, but she said "What do I do with it?" Now it was a huge baby's head, made up of a bunch of little metallic units and mounted on a base. It was bald, with a pigtail coming out of the top of it's head. The ponytail was made up of the same units. And the baby was wearing sunglasses. I took the sunglasses off, trying to incite this baby, cause I knew it would go on a rampage if I could get it angry. Then it had a body, and it wasn't connected to the base. It took its ponytail in its hand and started swinging it at my sister, like a lasso. I told my sister, "Oh, don't touch the sunglasses". Then I ran, closing her door behind me.

And then I remembered the old man. It was a real Oh, Shit! moment. I went into the bathroom, and there he was, still in his wheelchair. He was soaked, beyond soaked, in urine- apparently he had drowned in it. And his head, which previously had been bent forward into his chest, had got so wet and heavy that it broke off at the nape. The skin there was broken, and the wound was bright red against his yellow skin. He was dead. It was so disgusting, I was terrified.

Then I went downstairs, and the doll I had gotten my sister was on th rampage. It was using its pigtail as a projectile weapon. My sister was crying to my mother. There was chaos, and it was my fault.

My father had died again, and I was at the wake, this time held in a house that looked like my aunt's. Towards the end of the wake, someone pointed at some artwork on the wall, saying that it was left to me in the will. I looked at it, sort of a mosaic of metallic colors -- blue, turquoise, rust, and a funky, uneven surface. I thought about the last time he'd died, he'd bequeathed (to my mother) some drawings done by a friend; the drawings never interested me, but I could get into this mosaic thingy.