Dream Log: June 11, 2004

I've been invited to my cousins wedding up in Scotland (Dundee to be exact) and when I get there, I find my parents have had an argument so my mum has moved out and bought a shop. It's a traditional grey-stone shop - much like the Edinburgh Woolen Mill style of shops - with a big front window.

My girlfriend has also come to Scotland for the wedding. When we arrived, we spent some time looking through all the kit-and-kaboodle in the window, and then went into the shop for some tea. As they usually do, my mum and my girlfriend sat down for a chat. As we were talking my girlfriend remembered that we'd brought a present for my mum - a potted flower that looked like a daffodil, but smaller. For some reason, my mum smelt the flowers and then bit the heads off, chewed them up, and swallowed.

This is nothing for experience nor for personal criticism or advice. The primary purpose of me writing in this right now is for venting, so allow me to do so. You can always choose not to read this.

My fiancee was once over in Okinawa, Japan on Camp Schwab Marine Corps Base and met several people over there. While over there, she had gotten pregnant by a guy named Nolan.

He was engaged to another woman throughout the course of the whole entire relationship and had told her that he wasn't seeing anybody else and later impregnated her. She came over here and mad the child who's name is now Theresa Angelic Chasteen. She was born on the twenty-sixth of October. She had also met a very good friend of hers over there named James.

Me and this girl have been together for five months going on six now. She has already told me that nothing could ever pull her away from me but, she doesn't exactly seem very convincing of this. The way that she's been acting, the vibes I've been getting off of her, the way her tone of voice sounds, the constant ignorance towards me, and the fact that she hardly ever acknowledges me when I tell her that I love her or hardly ever wants to further our sex life anymore when she was the one who in the very first place when we got together had always been the one asking me and now never wants to do me the courtesy of going along with it as I did sometimes before for her even when I personally didn't want to.

I've been thinking a lot about these things lately. Then she tells me that her friend James who is now over here in the States also and only Forty or Fifty miles away was going to be coming over to the house this weekend. I had a dream last night in very strong regards to this.

It wasn't one of those normal dreams though. It was one of those types of dreams that a person has that almost always come true. More of a gut instinct than a dream. My instinct hasn't been wrong once in my life that I can recall since I was five.

And in this little piece of instict, I had visions of her laying on her back and him on top of her going to town. I then walked in on them and see several different possibilities of what I would do in that scenario, but have the exact same feeling of loss and stupidity and complete and udder sorrow.

In the end, I did nothing but grab all of my things and walk out and dedicate my life to my Marine Corps and lived for nothing else until the day that I died harshly in a combat zone from Chemical warfare agents.